Advice and sympathy needed please

[Foxtail]

Hi All - I do post on here under another user name but this is slightly embarrassing so I've used a new user name to spare my blushes. Since I had my baby several years ago I occasionally suffer from 'piles', They got quite bad recently and at one point had to wear pantyliners as they were bleeding I also had to have time off work - although now they have cleared up considerably anyway......
Dr made me an appointment to see a consultant,I have just got back from seeing him and I'm so upset, he was really really, really horrible to me. When he examined me (with a finger up my back passage) it really hurt, I got very tense - justifiably I feel - and he snapped at me 'Relax or I can't examine you' this made it worse and when he tried again it made me cry it hurt so much. He then got really angry and told me that the only way he could examine me was under general anasthetic but that may cause damage to my rear end and I would to quote him 'not be wearing a pantyliner for bleeding but because I wouldn't be able to control my bowel anymore'. He then demanded I decide whether to go ahead and have an examination under a general anasthetic and when I asked for his advice he said it wasn't his problem.
I'm still shaking I'm so upset at the way he treated me and what he said, and the fact I'm now so sore I can barely sit down.
Has anyone had a similar examination under general anasthetic? Does anyone know if he's being truthful - it felt as though he was deliberatley trying to frighten me. Please, sensible answers only, please I'm in no state to take meaness or joking. Thanks

[happyjo]

Horrified at yor story.

Do not leave this, you may get cold feet and decide not to complain.

Who the hell do these consultants think they are. Paid over..90k a year to embarrass and abuse patients... it's disgusting.

COMPLAIN now!!!!

Take care
Jo x

[redcrx]

how appalling!

I agree with the others, put a complaint in asap and dont let him get away with the way he has treated you. People should never be afraid to see doctors and consultants

[Octavius]

Was that a Freudian slip, or are your having an affair with Mr Hellyon?!

[bigmamma]

Bless ...foxtail love that is dreadful for you . You would be understandably on edge for him to start with and he should have a good gentle exam taking his time to put you at ease , and stopping it when you were in pain.
Please complain while you are still sore and can put it to paper . He is cruel and no patient should be spoken to like that !!!

[moonshadow]

How terrible Foxtail it beggars belief. Ask your GP as soon as possible for a second opinion so that they don't sent you back to that consultants clinic, everyone is entitled to this. Ask your GP to mention that you may need some medication to help you relax.There is no way he would give you a general anaesthetic for an examination such as yours as an anaesthetist would be required. A recovery period and qualified member of staff would have to stay with you and would be too expensive, not only that but he would be putting your health at risk . It sounds to me as if he was trying to scare you and this definitely needs reporting as other Ab members have said.

[FUZZYBEE]

Hi foxtail, I am appalled at the way you were treated. Please complain, I know you feel it may not be worth it but I can assure you it is. Find out what directorate he works under and send a letter of complaint to the Hospital. When I say directorate I mean the area of medicine he works in, for example a Radiologist works in Radiology. You most certainly will not need a General just for an examination.
1. go to your G.P and explain what happened (also do not let G.P feel you are making a fuss)
2. Ask to be referred again and request a different doctor (again do not be fobbed off)
3. write your letter of complaint copy it and send to directorate and if they have one a PALS team. These are patient liason people who look into your welfare and how you are being treated at hospital.(if you can remember dept you were seen in just drop it in there F.A.O Manager)
4. please, please dont worry about what he said, if they can't do the examination then they may refer you for a colonoscopy which is a tiny camera up your bottom which you are not given a general for but they can sedate you and make you a little woozy for it.
Whilst I appreciate peoples views on private health care, a lot of the same NHS Consultants actually work at these private clinics on a specific day so you actually end up seeing the same doc just in better surroundings !! I work in a Hospital inEssex and 12 of our consultants do a stint at a private hospital 4 miles down the road.
Also getting back to the letter, you said the nurse was aware of his behaviour, well she may have just written a complaint about him herself which we are at liberty to do they are called DATIX forms and we MUST fill one of these out if we have witnessed anything untoward, near misses or just downright rudeness so in combination with your letter he will most certainly get investigated.
Dont worry lots of people have had this problem.
fuzzy x

[Foxtail]

Thank you so much for your advice Fuzzy - I have to say I didn't sleep to well last night, it really did shake me and as I said I'm a fairly tough cookie and take most things in my stride. I started to wonder last night if I could have imagined the whole situation as it seems so unblievable but I know I didn't. I have drafted out what happened and I will follow your advice.
My main problem with all of this is that I now longer trust the man - he had no care for my discomfort and pain and if he was like that then what would he be like later? I have had a colonoscopy before and I must admit I was suprised when he said the only way he could carry out an examination would be under a general anasthetic as I would have thought sedation would be more than adequate. He caught me by suprise as he didn't actually say he was going to give me a rectal exam.