Help!

[miffy63]

We have my 20yr old son's 17yr old girlfriend staying at the moment and it's driving me nuts! Their relationship isn't great at the best of times, in fact he doesn't seem to even want her here, but since she's been here she's done nothing but strop around the house and she washes her hair twice a day leaving the bathroom in a wet mess, never washes up and her stuff is everywhere.

She's a long way from home and very young, but I want to bang their heads together and then send her home. My son admits he's not happy with her so I suggested he finish with her. He tried to when he went down to stay with her recently but then her dad said that he thought of my son as one of the family!

What do I do, there's a horrible atmosphere in the house and she's not going until Tuesday?

[nuoyg]

miffy that's rotten for you. At the end of the day it's your house and you shouldn't be made to feel like it. Can you have a quiet chat to your son and explain that there isn't a nice atmosphere at the mo and it's making you feel uncomfortable?

[miffy63]

I did that last night nuoyg, and he said he'd have a word with her ~ but when I came home from work this afternoon nothing had changed. They've gone out now though and it's lovely!

[k9 fott]

bin em

[cazzz1975]

wait until she returns home then he should dump her by phone/text that way he wont feel like he is letting people down or being intimidated.

its hard but ending relationships have never been easy, at least it will be a relief and it does avoid a big scene..

[nuoyg]

lets hope they have a good evening out and come back happy!!

[sophie_1003]

just say to her "I dont mind you staying here but when you've used the bathroom could you just give the floor a quick mop (put mop in bathroom for ease) because we've had problems with damp before" or similar excuse. She probably doesn't even realise she's doing anything wrong!

[Silversky]

I definately agree with Sophie!!
Ask her to help out!
I'm 16 and I often stay with my boyfriends parents in london. And I'd hate to think for a second I was being a burden on them. I feel guilty having to stay there as it is...
And if there obviously not getting on, why is she staying? I would have probably left.
Plus for future reference, tell your son, if he still doesn't get along with her that she can't stay.
Therefore killing to birds with one stone- Shes not round the house in a strop and your son doesnt have to be fustrated about her being there.
Good luck and I hope the rest of the weekend goes well for you.
xx

[JeanC]

Silversky - That's a very mature answer for a 16 year old. Well done.

[Silversky]

Thankyou =]
I try to help out where I can. And of course, share the wisdom of my very few years. tehe.

[sense4all]

Most teenagers think that bathrooms are cleaned by elves or pixies in my experience. I hope to heaven she doesn't dye her hair on your best white towels ... it very hard to be 'umble when that happens!! There was the time someone was surprised when I asked who had had their hair cut - it looked like a cat had died in my bathroom sink, they've got their own bathrom for Gawds sake !! Teenagers don't see it for some reason. I like Silerskys idea. If she stays again I would just tell her ': If this is a regular thing you stop being a guest and are being promoted to 'one of the family' and here are the family rules ... makes it an inclusive statement not an exclusive one.

[Silversky]

Oh and also... warn her she's killing her hair washing it twice a day : )

[miffy63]

Thank you all so much. Something must have happened last night because she went home today, and I noticed that she had been crying. My son took her to the station at 1.30pm but hasn't come home yet. I think he's hooked up with some friends so I won't know anything until later tonight.

[Silversky]

Oo er...
Good luck later then Miffy. Hope your son is okay : )