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Why??? in The AnswerBank: Body & Soul
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Why???

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girlygirl2 | 10:43 Fri 17th Aug 2007 | Body & Soul
41 Answers
I'm so upset, my best friend is leaving the country to go travelling for 9 months.
Tonight is her farewell party, with all my old work pals, my fiance is invited obviously but he has just gone really mad at me saying if I want to go out then go out alone and he will go out with his mates, he wont give me any money to go out with either! FFS I'm pregnant, I wont even be drinking!
Why is he being like this?
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Because he is a b@stard.
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I cant understand, he has always said he wouldnt mind if I went out, I would never stop him or even try to.
what brought it on? Does he not gt on with your friend? or have you not been going out recently when hes invited you to things?
As for not giving you money, youve got your own job so i hope you have some of your own money. Tell him you dont need his money for a night out then go out and have fun with your friends
Use your own money then?

Please don't tell me your in a relationship where someone controls all the money.
well you cant force him. Yer its nice that a man should accompany you out to these occasions but I always think that if they're not going to enjoy themselves I'd rather go alone than have s ulking man by my side. And dont you have any money? why does he give you it. I'm not having a go but have never understood women that get money off their men for going out. Bit like pocketmoney. lol
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Nothing like that Red, I always go out with his mates when I'm invited. I like it!
He has never met her so he cant dislike her.
I have spent all my money on living expenses and dont get paid til 25th!
So he's controlling you then by not giving you a few pounds to go and see your best mate?

Two words then.

Dump him
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It has been weird recently, the other day I went to work in a smart skirt and knee high black boots and he went mad saying they were f*ck me boots! I still wore them though. I just dont understand where this is going?
thst the difference between men and women. We love to go out with their mates and join is as it makes us feel they are proud to have us there, whereas blokes alot of the time hate to feel left out at parties/weddings etc. He does seem to be controlling you with money thing to make you stay in. But what would you have done about money if you wernt with him?
I can�t believe that this has arisen out of nothing, and the boots are irrelevant to the original question. Are you suggesting that all this is leading to a relationship meltdown?

If so, I would reiterate, that this doesn�t usually arise from nowhere. I think we are not getting the full story.
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Not have spent it so quick!!!!! Lol

I have been buying lunches out and dinner etc a lot which I wouldnt normally do so thats why my wage has gone so quickly but he said that he would give me some money as he has been eating it...... grrrr
eating money?
Is he jealous of you going out on your own ie with the girls?
Have a quiet word with your best friend, explain the situation and ask her to lend you a bit of money for the evening, as you have said you won't be drinking..................do not fall into the trap of asking him for money. Just get dressed and go.........If he realises that he has behaved badly and offers you money, it's up to you to decide whether to take it, or not.
It may do him good to realise that you still have retained your independence, and it may do you some good, too.
The coming months will see your confidence take a knock, don't let it start too early !!
well she did say she'd gone off food oct lol
is this his first experience with being a father to be?
Girlygirl, just a thought and not really 100% relevant but anyhow... what happens when you have a baby to support and you have spent all your money on dinners, should you not be saving your pennies? Don't want to sound like an old woman but if you are worring about the status of your relationship now, i'd have a think about the longterm.
If he is being this tight now what is he going to be like when you both need money for your baby?
Girly, tell him sternly that you are going tonight and that you also want to sit down with him tomorrow and have a chat about things. Be mature and confident when you tell him this and if he reacts, tell him calmly that you refuse to get into an argument and that you will talk tomorrow.

He's obviously taking something out on you and he needs to get this out in the open. If you're doing something to upset him then he needs to communicate that to you. You also need to reach a mutual agreement with your social lives if you want to be in a strong relationship.

If he has said he will give you some cash for your night out then he should stand by that. By taking that offer back he is controlling you and that's just not acceptable.

As for the 'fcuk me' boots comment, he sounds very insecure. That's probably what the issue is. Something's going on in his head right now and you need to find out what!

Be strong and take control of this situation and I guarantee everything will be fine once you talk it through. x
Why are we assuming that he is tight?

Perhaps he is saving for the baby?
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No he has 3 other children......
He says that he has never felt like this before and that his jealousy is uncontrollable.
I'm not the sort of person the be controlled as I'm very independant normally but I dont know whats happening to me recently....

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