not sure!

[red_dragon]

My live in partner is going away on a training course for five days next week with a woman from his work, just the two of them. It was down to her to book the hotel and hire car and she has phoned him to say she has done that. She phoned him from work and he said he could hear the other guys jeering as she was talking about booking the room.

She has a reputation at their work as a bit of a drinker and has had a fling with a couple of guys there.

I don't know how to feel about the fact that they are going away together. I have never been apart from my guy in five years so the company of another woman is new to him. I fear she may try and pull him, flirt with him etc. It's not so much that I dont trust him its more her! They will obviously be going out for drinks and meals in the evenings etc.

What would people do in my situation?

[andrea81]

I know it's going to be hard. My hubby used to be away with the army a lot and I guess I used to wind myself up with what women could be there.

I bet here have been times he has been around women, but I just can't think about him cheeting! I think confronting him or warning him off may cause an argument, but you could tell him that you feel insecure about it and hopes he can see it from your point of view!

you just might have to brave it Missy!

[B00]

Ignore it. It's him you have to trust, not her.

If you do trust him- prove it.

[Octavius]

Do you have any particular reason to doubt your partners trust? Or is it really just about the woman? Do you think he would take anything offered on a plate? If not and you trust HIM implicity, then do as B00 says.

You could sit down with your partner and explain your fears, reassurance should come from him, maybe arrange that he phones you every evening and talk each other to sleep or something (any compromise you can reach really that makes you feel assured). Of course any woman might try it on with your partner but you have to trust him to not respond. You can�t control the actions of either person, so you may have to accept that she will flirt with him. The issue is whether you are secure enough with him. This would go for many situations at home or away.

Communicate your feelings in a relaxed way (non-accusing) without resorting to obtuse tactics (shouting, crying, threats etc).

[natalie_1982]

Sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about, and that you trust your man which is exactly the way it should be. Personally, I would do as Andrea suggested and just mention that I was feeling a bit insecure but that I trusted him completely.

Just think of the day he comes home and how exciting it will be to see him x

[B00]

Or better yet, think of all the tv you can watch without him moaning, and the lack of balled up sweaty socks you'll have to beat against a wall into submission before you load them into the washer............

[Cockney_si]

I can't see any problem.

It's her that has the reputation and not him isn't it?

If I was in his shoes I'd be professional about it and keep it like that, no need to worry.

[natalie_1982]

pmsl @ Boo. Are we married to the same man?

[Scarlett]

You MUST trust him. He is with you. She is clearly a bit of a good time girl. Give him some credit! He probably doesn't fancy her or even like her. It is work. If you show that you are jealous or worried it emphasises lack of trust. It is hard cos this is the first time he is away from you. But let him go in good faith- encourage him to have a good time. Ask him to phone you when he can. And then YOU, rather than sitting in moping, go out and have a great time with some female mates that you haven't been out with for a while !

[red_dragon]

I like your answer BOO - it does have bonuses I guess!

At the end of the day I guess there is nothing I can do - I do trust him , its her that might be planning a huge seduction scene!

[red_dragon]

Thanks scarlett, I will go out too. I cant mope in indoors all the time. I know what some women can be like that is what worres me, he might get drunk and do something he later regrets.

[FUZZYBEE]

Hi red-dragon, totally understand that you are a bit insecure, why don't you set the whole seduction scene thing yourself the night before he goes? Nice underwear, nothing tarty just something he hasn't seen before do your hair, bit of make up and show him what he's leaving at home. Pop little notes into his case, wash bag etc etc so he has little reminders about you. Know it'll be hard but try not to rely on texting as I think that is a bit of a cop out when a partner has gone for more than a weekend I think they should make the effort and actually speak to you.
Dont worry too much he doesn't sound like he has given you cause for concern before, and have a nice time yourself. x