speech at wedding - help needed please

[tdvit]

OK I hate standing in public and giving speeches. I am giving my sister away on the 19th June and of course I will be expected to say a few words. anybody know of any good websites or good tricks or can anyone offer me any advice? thanks people. :D

[bobbobley]

Been there and done that when I was a best man a few years ago. I worried about it all beforehand - nerves at speaking in public, but also in front of lots of friends and some family. It all went well on the day though after I'd practised several times.

Some good things to think about beforehand are:

Preparation - think about what you want to say

Rehearse - practice what you will say, including how long you want it to last

Project - make sure everyone is able to hear you

Stand up and make eye contact - looking confident increases your audiences confidence in you

Be yourself - act naturally, use plain English that you would use in everyday speech.

Also, remember that you are not in front of a hostile audience. Its a wedding where people are to celebrate and have a good time. They will be expecting speeches, and probably expecting nerves, and won't be heckling you or laughing at you.

Hope all goes well - I'm doing the best man thing again next April so hopefully I'll remember all this advice for that time!

[Pinotage]

Everything bobbobley says plus - remember that many in the room will have been through it themselves and willknow exactly how you are feeling. No-one is expectinga professional speechmaker. Take three big slow breaths as you get up to speak. Speak loud and speak slowly - much slower than you would in normal conversation. The tendency is to rush so your words get garbled. Don't forget grannies who can't hear so well. Try to speak without reading every word - just put (in large print) reminders of the main things you want to say. That willsound much more natural. If you have to read it all, then print it in a large font that you can easily see. Its a happy day for all, so relax and have fun, and remember to have a full glass beside you - you'll deserve it when you sit down!

[andy hughes]

Little to add to the sound advice that's gone before except - if you don't feel totally sure of yourself, don't do jokes, you can frall over yourself and look a melon. The cliche is very true on speeches - "Be brief, be sincere, and be seated". Stick to that, combined with the excecllent advice from my colleagues, and you'll be fine.

[norfolk boy]

Ihave gone through this my self.Practise in front of a mirror untill you stop smirking.get two of your mates to stand by the mirror and say the speech untill you stop feeling a right tit ! On the big day take three deep breaths and focus only on one person or apiece of decor and tell the speech to this person or item(the mind will blank out your surroundings) start and finish slowly! and yes people will think youre a tit if you mess it up but hey thats life good luck

[sft42]

All good advice that's gone so far but here's a little info that might help you combat the nerves.

The reason anyone is nervous before getting on stage, talking in public etc. is because the body is flooded with adrenaline in preperation for this thing you are terrified of (believe me I have been playing in bands and DJing for years) and although once you get used to the routine of doing it this is a good thing as it gets your edge on for performing, for the normal punter doing this as a one off like yourself it's really the last thing you need.....adrenaline has the effect of getting the body ready to fight or run away fast and take blood to the muscles and away from the cognitive centre of the brain...oops!

What you need to do is try to relax and be as comfortable as possible in the situation (hance the oft repeated story of imagining everyone in their undies).....try and do something at a rehearsal and get used to the feeling of standing up in a room with everyone looking at you.....try karaoke sober if you can sing that'll give you a basis to work from.

PS.....one last thing.....don't read from a script, it will sound stiff and unnatural....use cue cards instead with a few pointers and topic to keep you going but let your speech patterns be as normal and flowing as possible.

[buttons]

http://www.hitched.co.uk
this site is great for helping you write a speach, it gives you example speeches, jokes to use, tips on delivery - everything you could ask for. GOOD LUCK!!

[buttons]

It didn't help me spell though!!! ;o)

[bigh]

It is always good to start with one quick quip that gets people laughing then dive straight into the action. Paint a picture with your words......I just want you all to imagine for a moment.............by the time you have got this far. Your nerves will have been left in the chair beneath you. Good luck