Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
Unintentional falling out with a neighbour
17 Answers
On Saturday I was minding my great -niece Ellie who's 4. We called to see a neighbour who has a son who is also 4 (I'll call him Joe). Joe is terminally ill and has very grey skin and blue lips, due to his heart failing. Ellie asked me Joe's surname, which is Smith. She misheard me and began singing "Joe's called Smurf that's why he's blue." Joe's mum got very upset and asked us to leave. I tried to explain the misunderstanding but she wouldn't listen. Yesterday in the street she shouted abuse at me. Last night I wrote a letter to her, explaining & apologising and put it through her letter box. This morning I had more abuse hurled at me.
How do I resolve this awful situation?
How do I resolve this awful situation?
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by mrs_overall. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.oh how horrible, its sad that someone can take to heart what 4 year olds say, as we all know they say things innocently, she has obviously thought you told her to say it, which im sure you didnt. She obviously is going through a bad time with her son being terminally ill and is taking things to heart it must be so hard for her.
I think you done the right thing writing her a letter and i would just keep calm and try to ignor her at the moment as im sure she will in time realise you didnt tell your great niece to say that. Just keep your distance, you cant do much else really just give her a bit of time.
I am however surprised she is hurling abuse at you but maybe the emotions of haivng a terminally ill child is taking its toll and anger emotions are coming out.
I think you done the right thing writing her a letter and i would just keep calm and try to ignor her at the moment as im sure she will in time realise you didnt tell your great niece to say that. Just keep your distance, you cant do much else really just give her a bit of time.
I am however surprised she is hurling abuse at you but maybe the emotions of haivng a terminally ill child is taking its toll and anger emotions are coming out.
id say perhaps write a letter explaining what youve said. As if an adult would teach a young child to say such things. If they really sat down and thought about it they would see it was a misunderstanding
If they then continue to hurl abuse at you then they really arent worth worrying about.
Their little boy should come first, the more they go on about it the more he will think he was being ridiculed and thats going to make things worse for him.
If they then continue to hurl abuse at you then they really arent worth worrying about.
Their little boy should come first, the more they go on about it the more he will think he was being ridiculed and thats going to make things worse for him.
Can you get your great niece to draw him picture or something and post that, maybe with a box of sweets or a car or something for him.
I feel for you kids, say the most embarrassing and sometimes hurtful things without realising it. My son has dropped us in it, but fortunately with adults who have been a little understanding,. I doubt very much she is cross with you or your niece, its just an outlet for a small time when she feels locked into a desperate situation.
I feel for you kids, say the most embarrassing and sometimes hurtful things without realising it. My son has dropped us in it, but fortunately with adults who have been a little understanding,. I doubt very much she is cross with you or your niece, its just an outlet for a small time when she feels locked into a desperate situation.
Oh how awful for you - I think other posters are right she is taking out her frustrations on you and who can blame her being so angry with the world at the moment.
I think Good Soulettes suggestion is a good one a gift for Joe and some flowers for his Mum. I'd put in note to say you don't know what to say to put things right and you are truly sorry that your neices comments caused upset but you hope she has it in her heart to forgive you.
She may just want 'someone' to take out her anger on at the moment and you are the one.
If she hurls abuse at you again don't try and apologise further but just tell her you accept it but continue to be good neighbour, she won't stay angry with you for long if you continue with small kindnesses like homemade cake, sweeties etc.
Poor lady I can't begin to imagine how awful she must feel at losing her only son so young.
Big hug to you (X)
I think Good Soulettes suggestion is a good one a gift for Joe and some flowers for his Mum. I'd put in note to say you don't know what to say to put things right and you are truly sorry that your neices comments caused upset but you hope she has it in her heart to forgive you.
She may just want 'someone' to take out her anger on at the moment and you are the one.
If she hurls abuse at you again don't try and apologise further but just tell her you accept it but continue to be good neighbour, she won't stay angry with you for long if you continue with small kindnesses like homemade cake, sweeties etc.
Poor lady I can't begin to imagine how awful she must feel at losing her only son so young.
Big hug to you (X)
I agree with the gist of the previous posts - a gap to allow everyone to put things in perspective - followed by a small gift and a note should do it. If your neighbour persist in being hostile, simply ignore her - you will have done everything poassible to put right an innocent mistake made by an innocent child.
I think you are a valuable neighbour to be so sensitivve and caring, and maybe your neighbour will think about that when things a re a little calmer. Let's face it - she could have had a neighbour with an attitude like her own - how upsetting would that be?
I think you are a valuable neighbour to be so sensitivve and caring, and maybe your neighbour will think about that when things a re a little calmer. Let's face it - she could have had a neighbour with an attitude like her own - how upsetting would that be?
Hi mrs o, might it be that any child, singing anything may have provoked this kind of behavoiur? If Joe was poorly it may not have been appropriate for any singing and may have caused stress. Just a thought ! There may also be an underlying feeling of jealousy, whereby your little charge is healthy and can sing, while her Joe can not. It is a shame ,when it sounds like she could do with your support, don't give up on her. Good Luck x
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