What else happens during labour!

[Janetex]

The poo part was a statement, not a question - This lady wants to know about the dangers nobody EVER mentions. A well informed decision is a wise decision. You could die, after months of mind blowing bed rest, the baby could die, you could go blind, you could develop renal failure, you could be temporarily paralysed afterwards, you could bleed and require surgery, during which you could wake up and try to get off the table, etc, etc, etc. I wish I'd known the risks. My child is the joy of my life, but I'm still not over the birth, obviiously!

[paulz]

Get Miriam Stoppard book, can't recomend it highly enough

[kags]

No, you are obviously not over the birth, and telling terrible stories like this without the balance of the many happy birth stories is irresponsible. Labour is a different experience for everyone, it is important to make informed decisions, not just decision based upon the bad experiences of others.

[coemgen]

I think you could say that there are risks attached to anything you do. I could go down the road to the corner shop and get run over/mugged/abducted by aliens etc. Everything has an element of risk involved and if we thought too much about it we'd never do anything. It sounds like you had a really bad experience Janetex and obviously it will take you time to get over it, however for the majority of us, birth is usually pretty straightforward, albiet desperately painful.

[Jenny Tools]

It sounds like you had a shity experience (pun intended) but thats no excuse to start giving unblanced horror stories to a unexperienced young lady, it can be and often is the most wonderful experience a person can have.

[Morrisonker]

Janetex - Thanks for the thought, but what I was really curious about was the stuff noone mentions that isn't dangerous. Stuff like: My mum was in labour with me for 48 hours (and never lets me forget it) so did she not sleep for 48 hours? Can you eat when you're in labour? stuff like that I thank you for your help, but really think that you were being a bit extreme :)

[coemgen]

Would this site answer some of your questions? http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/birth/

[Janetex]

The question was about what else happens during labour that nobody ever mentions, not how wonderful the experience is. It would seem that I'm the only one who has actually given an appropriate answer.

[ignoramus]

This is supposed to be a question and answer site, not a soapbox for you to pour out all your vitriol Janetex. You may have had a traumatic experience but you are just scaremongering here. Why don't you go to seea counsellor? You obviously have a lot of issues to deal with.

[vittoria]

I sympathise with you Janetex. I have also had a terrible experience and it is one of the reasons why I only have one child too. I don't see why it is irresponsible to write what you wrote - anyone who reads the papers will know that Sophie Wessex and her baby came within minutes of death because of a relatively common complication called placentae abruptio... a friend of mine who is a midwife used to say that people have short memories otherwise nobody would have more than one child; it was nature's way to ensure that people have more than one child; it is unfortunate that you and I do not have the gift of merciful amnesia... The book I have mentioned elsewhere "What to expect when you are expecting" says "you will feel that you could never do this again, but do not worry, one day, when the time is right, you will feel ready" etc. etc. Obviously there are a few people for whom this is not true. You and I are not alone but there is a big taboo about being less than ecstatic about having had a baby and women don't speak out for fear of being branded a miserable old so and so...

[tracymort]

personally i believe most of the risks come from the dr's! intervention is a quick route to more intervention. look at induction for example. at the best of times they don't tell you the risks and induce for no good reason other than just being "late" (which is seriously debatable). inducing before you are ready can often result in a caesarian. in the US it's worse, there's a drug called cytotec/ misoprostal which is often used to induce labour. it's sometimes used here too but as it's not licensed for such a purpose so you are asked first. it's really dangerous and can cause way too intense contractions leading to a ruptured uterus. some mums have died as a result. they use it though cos it's cheaper than the other labour inducing drugs. you may find this site interesting - http://www.aims.org.uk

[fudge]

can I ask - what actually happened in your birth? I'm assuming not all of the above! I'm really interested to hear your experience. I'm training to be a midwife and I see alot of things happen to women during labour that takes the whole experience out of their control and to me seem very traumatic and i often wonder what the mother thinks about it afterwards but rarely get the chance to ask

[vittoria]

Tracyh has touched on something very important. In the UK the Dr. only has to ensure that you have some understanding of what they are trying to do and why; they are not obliged to spell out the dangers to you. Next year, when I do Medical Negligence as part of my law degree, I'll be able to explain this better, but we touched on this during our Tort law course. A friend of mine who is a midwife used to tell me that stories like this happen all the time: after something has gone wrong, you go and see the Dr. and say: why didn't you tell me the risks? And they will answer "Because if I had you would not have consented and I wanted you to have this procedure". There is nothing you can do about it, it's unlikely you'd succeed in an action for med.neg. When I was pregnant my friend told me: "do you realise that if they want to do something to you they will, there is nothing you can do to stop them, and they can make sure you never even realise it has happened". It's very difficult to find out what has happened, everybody is on high defensive alert. I had been promised that one of the Community midwives who had looked after me while I was pregnant would be with me in labour but none were, and later, when I enquired why, they all got defensive and talked at me and gave me these long speeches all about self defense and justification. The same happened when the health visitor did not contact me and I had to chase her round various surgeries and clinics. She had never been informed that I had delivered but I never ascertained what had gone wrong because she got extremely defensive when I tried to enquire.