It's so unfair that at age 27 I still feel sick with worry about girls I like.

[Supernick]

I feel like I'm about 17 again, and this shouldn't be happening to me, but I think I'm getting quite obsessed (in a NON CREEPY way) with a girl at work. I really like her, and I'm convinced she's perfect for me. I've been spending a fair bit of time together, and we go out to lunch most days, just the two of us. I can't tell if she's interested though, and it's driving me nuts. How on earth am I
A. Going to find out she's interested
B. Actually ask her out. This is someone I work with so it's going to have to be during the day.

[Richie1976]

Not so super then are we!! Just ask her out mate, what's the worse that can happen - she says no.

[tiny e.a]

Why don't you suggest going for drinks after work sometime? This way it's more casual then when at work but not a date yet, you can see how well you get on outside of the work ebvironment. You should try something like, 'we should gr for a couple of drinks after work on friday/payday/whatever day'. Even if other people come it'll give you the chance to suss her out a bit more.

[Pippa68]

Awwww this is so sweet!

If you are mates with others at work, I would definately go with the drinks after work suggestion...ask a few of them if they want to have a little gathering.

That way you can get chatting with the girl you fancy and take it from there.

[China Doll]

You numptey!

Just ask her...

The fact is that if she didn't like you she wouldn't be going out to lunch with you most days with just the two of you.

Do you have her number? If so, just drop her a casual text/call seeing if she wants to go for a drink.

If not.... One of these days when you're at lunch together, metion that you've had a really stressful morning and could do with a drink and casually suggest a beer after work to get over the day.

I'm sure she'll say yes.

[Supernick]

I've asked a couple of times, but she never comes on work drinks, so I think I have to make it clearer that I would be asking her on a date.
Part of me thinks that if she says no when I ask if she wants to come down the pub after work it must be a knockback, but she always comes if I ask her if she fancies a wander at lunchtime

[Pippa68]

I don't think she will say no ~ after all it is really no different to lunch, is it?

I certainly wouldn't be going out to lunch with a bloke I didn't like. She is probably wondering when you are going to ask her out.

[China Doll]

Exactly Pip... There is no way I would go for a 'wander' with a bloke and waste a perfectly good lunch break if I didn't really like him.

You've nothing to lose Nick, just ask her. She's probably on the phone to her mates telling them 'he's not interested, he never makes a move.'

In fact you're probably torturing her on a daily basis and causing her long examinations of your lunch dates over a bottle of white wine which is really not a nice thing to do. Actually it's pure evil making her suffer this way and I thought better of you!

Seriously, just ask if she fancies one night going for a bite to eat and a drink, just the two of you. You don't have to say more than that for it to be obvious you're asking her for a date.

[Supernick]

It's a sensitive issue to ask someone out at work I think, unless you're pretty sure they'll say yes.

She doesn't e-mail very much. If I send a chatty one asking how her day's going, then I might not get one back for a couple of hours. If I like someone, then i respond nack pretty fast. I'm just not sure. :(

I need to be stopped though. We were buying sweets the other day, and I bought a packet of Lovehearts. I only went and saved one all day, and then caught her before she left the building to present her with it. What's wrong with me?

[tiny e.a]

I have to just say here that I often went (they've left now) out for lunch on my own with a couple of blokes from my office (at separate times) because I enjoyed their company and would have rather got some air with them than on my own and I didn't fancy either of them and wouldn't have dated them, and we often went out on our own after work for drinks too so you never can tell really unless you ask I'm afraid.

[Pippa68]

Supernick I am very surprised you are still single.

You are a catch!!!

[China Doll]

Nick... I seem to recall you answering a question on here about office romances before and that they're not a complete stranger to you.

That being the case, be honest, do you get a sense that she likes you? You mush have an inkling?

You're looking in to it too much, I don't always respond straight away to my emails but it doesn't mean I don't like someone, just that I'm busy (or occasionally grumpy). Women are constantly bombarded with advice not to look too keen too so it may be that she's worried about coming across that way.

I know it can be a bit difficult if you work together but if she's as nice as you are she's not going to make you feel bad for being interested. You wouldn't do that to someone so why would she? Even if she doesn't like you that way she'll probably be very flattered, she's hardly likely to rip your heart out, kick around the pitch, head it in to an open goal and then hand it back to you covered in mud now is she?

And you can't let fear of rejection hold you back otherwise you'll never have a date again!

[Supernick]

I guess that normally, I wouldn't be bothered too much, hence the dabbling in previous office encounters (none at this new office).

But I haven't felt this strongly about a girl in about 5-6 years, and I'm very cautious about getting it all wrong. If I can do more to to try and ensure she says yes, then I will.

I'm not entirely unaware though that i do sound like a bit of a lovesick puppy. It's not normal behaviour. I just want her attention all of the time, and to do things for her. If I e-mail her, I get a search of nausea every time something hits my inbox and it's not her. If I see her smile at something I've written I'll be daydreaming all the way home with a stupid grin on my face. Enough of this talk. It's weird!

[jordielaz]

Just ask her if she wants to go for a drink, no big deal - she could meet someone else anytime and then you'll be kicking yourself.

[China Doll]

Oh bless you... We've all done it love and it's nothing to be ashamed of. A bit of infatuation is good for the soul now and then.

I guess if you've not had to do something like this for a long time that of course it's going to be daunting but put simply you have to do something.

It's not so hard just to see if she wants to go for a drink. Perhaps you could email her that rather than asking her straight out if it makes you too nervous? Either that or just blurt it out when you're out on one of your walks. Once it's out there and done you'll feel a whole lot better; trust me, in this instance I do acutally know what I'm talking about. I have a long history of blurting.

And you have to do something soon otherwise you will be relegated to the wrelm of 'friend' if you don't make some kind of move and that's not a place you want to be.

[Supernick]

Oh I'm a world class blurter, but I usually require a couple of pints. Stone cold blurting is a whole different ketlle of fish

[China Doll]

Could you go for a pint at lunch time?

That might work.

Cold blurting is infinitely more difficult I grant you but it can be done. Hugh Grant has made a career out of it.

[Sasha13]

Good advice from China Doll as always.

Bless you.

I definitely think she's interested if you spend as much time with her as you say.

Ask her for a drink - make sure she knows it's just the two of you, but don't make a big deal out of - just 'fancy coming for a drink with me after work one night this week' - I can almost guarantee you she'll say yes!!

[Supernick]

I'll give it a whirl tomorrow ladies. I think she'll say no to be honest, but at least it will be an end to the highs and lows. I feel positively bi-polar at the moment.

[China Doll]

You'll feel better when you know where you stand pumpkin. Promise.

[sally1001]

will you post tomorrow to let us know what she says? its like a soap opera.
good luck!