lapdancing clubs

[liquidspace]

My partner is going on a stag weekend to Bournemouth. I On both nights he is going to lapdancing clubs. This doesn't sit well with me and I think most of those clubs are totally naked now. I can't help not liking the thought of him sitting there while naked girls gyrate around him. I have told him I am not happy about it but he says that as he wants to go he will, regardless of my feelings.

Are the women right with me on this one?

[tiny e.a]

The only way it would be relevant is if liquidspace and all the women who had agreed with her had frequented male strip joints or hired a male stripper while they were going out with a man who was uncomfortable with them doing so. In that case I would agree with leg_end758s insinuation that women have double standards. However I would bet that none of the women who have said they wouldn't like their fella going to a strip joint have ever got tanked up and perved over some male stripper covered in cream. Therefore it is an irrelevant point.

If any of the ladies who have said they wouldn't like husband/boyfriends going to a stripper have done this then you are very terrible, hypocritical women and leg_end758 is perfectly within his rights to be aggrieved by you ; - )

[sophie_1003]

No respect isn't a one way street, thats why if the woman doesn't want her future husband to go to a lapdancing club, she shouldn't have (for example) a male stripper. Shouldn't the man earn respect as well by not showing he views women as objects?? And he's not free!!! Neither is the woman, they are (presumably) in a long term monogamous relationship and should be sympathetic to each others feelings!

[sophie_1003]

correction- by showing that he doesnt view women as objects

[Skreecheeboy]

You missed the point of what I was saying completely. He is about to make THE BIGGEST COMMITTMENT OF HIS LIFE. Until then he should be allowed to enjoy his last days of freedom without having to concern himself with her feelings. He isn't even married yet and already she's making ridiculous demands of him. SHE HAS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF. In the meantime demonstrating such distrust is just going to push him away if you ask me. Stop being so pedantic tinyea, for all wants and purposes the freedom we are talking about means pre-marital bliss and you bloody know it.

[Skreecheeboy]

Do apologise tiny, I meant to say sophie.

[sophie_1003]

I'm not being pedantic, they are my actual views, I wouldn't consider myself 'free' unless I was actually single, once in a relationship you should consider the other person's feelings, my boyfriend can be very paranoid and I'd never do anything to make him feel more paranoid, whether it was before or after marriage. And as I said, the issue really (well it would be for me) is his disregard for her feelings, he should reassure her that he's not going to be unfaithul etc!

[sophie_1003]

and long term relationships (pre-marital) are far from blissful as you imagine

[Skreecheeboy]

I can imagine they wouldn't be with an overbearing girlfriend like you! Sorry I'm only joking!
I just think she should give him a break. It's not like he's going out to cheat on her or frequenting them often! At the end of the day it's his STAG DO and he can do whatever he likes!!!! That's why women don't get invited to such things and why you've only recently been allowed to vote. lol!

[sophie_1003]

I agree that she should let him go as, as people have pointed out, strip clubs are very non-contact, I know, I've been to one myself, but i just have an issue with his disregard for her feelings! Ah well, think we've got into quite a discussion without answering the question!

[leg_end758]

i never said women have double standards tiny.

however if you think its allright for women to get oiled up shove money into a guys nutsck ,
lick cream off his b@lls .
but not allright for a guy to go for lap dance .

THEN ITS YUO WHO HAS DOUBLE STANDARDS .

unless youre in agreement with mer that both things area sad and depraved .

well tiny ??

[cazzz1975]

I would have no interest in no greasy naked men gyrating, orses for courses n all, worst still you have to pay!

nuts to all that gubbins

[leg_end758]

well cazz im trying to make a comparisson .
can u see what im gettin at?

[bednobs]

i am a girl and i think you are being unreasonable

[liquidspace]

Well thanks for all your answers. The site was down yesterday and I missed all the chat. I didn't see Legend's comment as it looks like it has been removed.

The one point about this is that it is NOT his stag do, it's his mates.

It looks like there are various opinions on this, most seem to think it's ok. I think that men going to strip clubs and women watching male strippers are actually two different things. When a group of women go they go for a laugh, they laugh hysterically - whereas men will sit there seriously and take it all in, as someone else said almost 'perving'. They will take the images in their head and go off and re-enact in their mind while relieving themselves of their pent up sexual desire. Women wouldn't do that on the whole. I know some people will disagree with me but I believe there is a truth in it.

[888sally888]

I would hate it and I am not a jealous paranoid woman at all. I just think its sad and tacky and I would never go to some male strip club either.

Respect for eachother is all thats needed!!

[cazzz1975]

The only problem I can see is that in future because he knows you disapprove he will become secretive and lie about where he is going to avoid a row, I think if your not feeling very secure in yourself you are more likely to worry so why not play tit for tat? (pardon the pun)

go out with the girls and tell him your going to see some male strippers, see how he likes it!

childish but gets the point across!

[4GS]

Sorry to butt in, if my wife objected to me going anywhere, then, to respect her feelings, I would not go.
End of, no dissusion needed, no arguements, no guilty feelings, no resentment, no lapdancing club

[Sasha13]

I understand your concerns liquidspace - Men are very visual creatures and get turned on by seeing things in the flesh so to speak. However they also know that a strip club is a fantasy. They may come home and think about her - but no more than they would someone on TV. They know its an illusion at the end of the day and that the stripper is going home to get changed into their PJs and watch TV with their dinner.

The reason there aren't really comparatives with women is that we don't get turned on as much by visual things - it's all in the head for us.

At the end of the day, if you make a big deal out of this, he's going to feel trapped and want to break out.

I don't like the fact that he will go regardless of his feelings but it depends how big a deal you've made of this and how much he wants to support his friend - he may have said this out of exasperation.

No, I'm not with you on this one. If my boyf wanted to go to a strip club I'd have no problem with it - at the end of the day, if he's going to cheat/fantasise about someone else he'll do it whether or not you 'let' him go to a strip joint. And he didn't have to tell you that he was going - he could have said they were going to a few bars then ended up there.

[Theland]

In any relationship that involves true love, where is the room or necessity for this kind of tackiness?
To go to a club like this is to demonstrate that the relationship is unfulfilling.
Yes, I think they are tacky.

[888sally888]

4GS - a decent man and proper husband!!