man!!!

[oldgrape]

right i've meet this bloke he is sooooooo lovely brilliant personality, we have so much in commom and he is my perfect bloke but i havn't got an attraction to him, i know he likes me.

is it possible to have a relationship with some1 and not fancy them does the attraction come with time?

[skinnycow]

Looks aren't everything and they certainly fade with age. If he is the perfect bloke don't let him get away or you may regret it.

[wendilla]

After all you have been through the last few weeks I would have thought the last thing on your mind would be to start a relationship.It would be better to get your own life sorted out first.

[unrulyjulie]

grapey i have to agree, you have been through so much in the past few weeks. Let the dust settle first and give yourself some man free thinking time. Thats just my advice and of course, its entirely up to you if you feel ready for all the complications that come with seeing someone new. .Saying all that, you dont need us to lecture you on what you do and don't need. That is your choice.

Now in answer to your question, yeah i think you can have a wonderful relationship with someone who you dont necessarily fancy straight off. i often find that side of it is something that grows. and when it does, unlike an immediate attraction, it doesnt fade with time.

[Pippa68]

I agree with the others about taking it slow, oldgrape ~ however I shall answer your question without lectures ;o)

I never fancied my first husband. I grew to love him, but he never set my world alight and I certainly never had butterflies over him. I never grew to fancying him either..just the mutual respect (until he walked out on me!) and friendship kept us going.

It may work, it may not. The only trouble is you may meet another person who ticks ALL the boxes ~ and if you are with someone without the attraction, you may have to hurt them.

[blu3wave]

The attraction can only come when you everything about the other person....and still like them. If you don't know much about them, and you're just guessing your way through it then it's probably not going to work. Any yes, there's a good chance someone else may come along who may have all of the above plus the attraction... and you may have to decide between staying and trying to make it work with the current partner or choosing someone else who seems 'right'/.......

[cazzz1975]

I would personally stay single for a while if I were in your predicament, you will become stronger and more in tune with what you want out of life.

it sounds to me like you are about rebound to any bloke that fancies you, you will regret this and you owe it to yourself and your son to sort out your lives before you start introducing strange men to your son

[blu3wave]

I think you should stay single too, who knows what kind of psycho he could lurking under that lovey dovey exterior... probably another Fred West waiting to happen.

Just dump him, call your friends round for dinner and enjoy your life. Start speed dating next week, make sure you find someone attractive.

[hussy]

you need to have an attraction when you start seeing someone when you dont have that spark then its like sleeping with your brother.... not a very nice thought i know but its something that doesnt just come in time. in my opinion it needs to be there at the beginning. hope you work things out oldgrape, you have the rest of your life to find your perfect fella with the spark that you need for it to last.