Paranoia... Is it too much?

[ChocolatChip]

I get terrible paranoia, every hour of every waking day. Worried either about how I look, whether I'm too fat, not got any make-up on, or too many spots, stuff like that. Probably sounds vain, but absolutely destroys my life, and I quite often get scared of going out, because I don't feel I look good enough.
My other kind of paranoia is constantly worried about being sacked... people thinking that I'm not working hard enough or that I'm doing something wrong without realising. Or people generally not liking me.
I think i'm going absolutely mad!
I'm not just talking a little bit either, as I said earlier. It's destroyed my life and it makes me so unhappy.
Does anyone else feel this way everyday? Is it normal? or am I actually going mad?

[funnygirl]

Choc, it is not normal. May you should get some professional help.
Try and tackle one worry at a time and move on to another worry when you see that there is nothing to worry about.
Try and relax.

[lightoftruth]

a simple gauge of "normalcy" is "are the problems preventing me from living a normal happy life"

the answer is evidently that it is preventing you getting on with your life and i STRONGLY advise that you go to your GP

i would try therapy first tho before accepting any medication.

[figure]

Are you munching on too much chocolate chips?

[Quoi]

I am just interested chocolatChip but what were your parents like?
I have interviewed a lot of people for my work and this is a thing that crops up all of the time and affects how consienciously people work.

This feeling of constantly being watched and having something to prove to somebody (i have found) links in a big way to parents attitude towards you.

[perigra]

yup. i agree with funnygirl.
go to your gp and they should refer you for counceling.
to me it doesn't sound like paranoia, it's more like poor self image and lacking confidence!

[ChocolatChip]

My mum was bullied when she was young (Like myself) And fought back to become a successful business owner. But pressure often gets to her, but she can easily put a brave face on. (Quite unlike myself)
My dad is very laid back, nothing bothers him and whatever his goal is in life, he always gets there eventually.

[ChocolatChip]

Oh, and my mum's also quite unconfident. My dad's too laid back to tell anything...

[figure]

Sorry, my answer wasn't serious. I honestly thought this was a wind-up question.

Do you have the will power to get out of the house? Can you talk to your Mum? I'm sure she will have encouraging and supportive words for you. You should seek professional help immediately otherwise things will get worst than they presently are. You will become more sad, depressed and insecure and drive yourself into becoming a nervous wreck.

[jno]

I don't think you're going mad, everyone to some degree has this concern about how they look to others. As lightoftruth says, it's only a problem if... well, if it's a problem. If it's upsetting you, getting in the way of the life you want to lead. Clearly it is, so it's worth seeing a doctor about it. Like peligra, I don't think it's exactly paranoia (which is basically the feeling that someone's out to get you), more poor self-image - a form of depression, perhaps. Anyway, it's worth taking to your GP

[ChocolatChip]

Thanks for all your answers... And no, it really isn't a wind-up... it's all very true.
I've had profession help for about 18 months after trying to commit suicide last summer. I've had a lot of problems in the past, and whatever I try to do I can't escape them. I have had trouble with eating disorders, although I am recovering from it and I am watched carefully. All I want is to regain back the control, because I wouldn't have to think about anything else about from how much I eat. It actually kinda made me feel better, than I am trying to control it and everything else around me.

[figure]

You have the ability and sense to understand your problem and now talk about it, that's a positive step towards your healing. Tell yourself you are in control. Look in a mirror and talk to yourself, tell yourself you can overcome your situation. Sounds like you know what to so. Keep visiting here and let us know how you are coping and progressing. You'd get lots of support from folks on here. Most of them are very kind and helpful.

[freak_unique]

I get this ALOT. Don't want to go out half the time because of how i look, feel like im too disgusting to be in public, just feel like this world was never made for someone like me. When i do plan to go out i look forward to it until the day where i get so nervous half the time i let people down, ive started to feel a little better on that situation though, when im going to the pubs I have a couple of drinks to ease my nerves before i go and then once I am out i have such a good time i wonder what half the problem was...i feel i have to just throw myself out or else i never will go out, maybe you should do this? It gets less scarier the more i do it, although the paranoia of when im out of someone insulting me is still there and i know that if someone did id either get so upset and go home or just completely lose it at them. I dont get paranoid about losing my job but i get paranoid of even my friends, i start doubting them, thinking they have ulterior motives to everything they do, question if they are real friends or just using me...i cant tell what is and what isnt sometimes though tbh a few of my friends i kinda know deep down arent very good. When im out i cant even look in mirrors or else i will end up just going home, its sad to care so much but we cant help how we feel can we? Hope you come through this x

[ChocolatChip]

Hi Freak_unique... I know exactly how you feel, when I go out, whether its day/night, casual/classy I get butterflies and have sometimes even been sick because I don't wanna go out because I know I'll look awful. I look in the mirrors at home, and I know I've worked for literally hours on my hair and make-up and I'm like 'Hmmm, I actually look quite good' Then I go out and look in the mirror, and think 'Oh my god! how the hell did I think I looked good?' Then I fee so rubbish and nervous that everyone around me is looking at me and talking about how dreadful I look.

And I do have the same thing with friends, it's taken me almost a year to believe my partner loves me for who I am and that he won't run off with someone better, thinner and prettier and more confident. I used to really believe he hated me, even though neither had him or I done anything.

I only have one good, well just one friend in fact. If anyone tries to get close to me I think they're just out to hurt me and have a laugh at my emotions. And just generally take the p*ss. I just cannot make friends with anyone.

[Ice.Maiden]

Sounds like you're very anxious and lacking in confidence, but I'm sure this can be helped. Maybe some medication to tide you over, counselling or going on an assertiveness course'd make you feel better?

[jno]

there was actually a brief news item about self-image this week, though I haven't been able to find a full report on it. I've cut and pasted a paragraph below. It suggests that sufferers somehow see themselves differently from the way others see them. That would suggest that one quick fix (though not an actual treatment) might be to stop looking in the mirror and dress up with the aid of a friend: take his or her word for whether you look ok on the basis that he/she is a better guide to what others see in you than your own eyes are. Longer-term, it still needs some sort of therapy, but it may be that in the meantime you can take a bit of pressure off yourself.

"When it comes to a debilitating poor self-image ugly is in both the eye and brain of the beholder. Researchers have found that people who suffer from body dysmorphic disorder experience a glitch in their brain when processing images. The findings shed light on the disorder, in which sufferers experience a dramatically distorted self-image, and have obsessive thoughts about imagined or minor defects in their appearance."

[-dreaming-]

its hard not to be obbsesed by the way you look and the way other people see you nowadays as so much seems to be judged on that. i have a friend who has the same problem about going out as she is so concerned of how she looks even though i think she looks fine, shes had counselling and thats started to help maybe you should consider that? as talking about problems often helps.

[hussy]

you are suffering from an illness choc
get to the doctors and be honest how you feel there are help out there for you but you have to make the first step.

good luck
all the best
hussy xxx

[freak_unique]

Chocolatchip- sorry havent visited back on here for a while. Have you been to the doctors or anything?Alot of things you say are so much like myself, when I do my makeup it has to be in a tiny compact mirror, i cant do it if i can see my whole face in it...weird. Have you had an experience in the past where friends/people have taken advantage of you or have moved away or left that is making you so paranoid about them. I think that is my problem too many people I have held close to me have moved away or left, or just completely screwed me over that i don't trust anyone now. I analyse absolutely everything.

[ELVIS68]

When you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say to yourself "YOU LOOK FOOKING BEAUTIFUL"

Say it again when you`ve done your make up, say it when you`ve done your hair....say it everytime you look in the mirror

And when you aint near a mirror...think it!

The more you think positive thoughts the more you`ll start believing in them