Gut Instinct ????

[Drisgirl]

If you felt that something wasnt quite right -in your relationship.
Just really more than gut instincts -but as they have the capability to hang up -thus not resolving anthing -would you -if you knew the address -and it was only 4 and a half hours away -jump in the car (tomorrow) and just go down there and confront him and his **** strirring mucker/housemate/judas face to face?
I am gonna to do it -his mate is trying desperately to split me and my H up and I have had to confess to H that his mate has been harassing me and even turned up one weekend at my door professing love -he even split with his missus thinking I was gonna do the same -WRONG.

This has been going on since June but since H moved in with him solid for 4 weeks and my head is minced.

Actually wish me luck -cos I know I am gonna do it cos he made the mistake of EMailimg me with his addy -mug !!!

[Drisgirl]

Wish someone would either say they would do it or not -purty perlease -lol (actually I dont feel humorous just want a couple of advisors)

[Ice.Maiden]

No, no - don't go to see him. That's what he might be hoping for, and it'll just reinforce his warped ideas that perhaps you reciprocate his feelings!

[tiggerblue10]

I wouldn't do it Dris honey.

I wish I could stay and cht to you about it but I've got a headache and I need to get to bed. Sorry babe.

Night xxx

[Ice.Maiden]

Night TB - hope you soon feel better hun - xx.

[JK04]

Hey, i would and i have, icaught my ex out badly one time and it was a good feelin watchin her face. im just glad i had already cheated on her b4 hand. Its the worst feelin in the world wonderin somethin like this so just get it outta d way.
Gud luck drisgirl!

[Psychick]

What do you feel isnt right and what do you hope to get by going to see him unannounced?

[Ice.Maiden]

Exactly. If you tell someone firmly enough, they don't need to take the hint - they'll KNOW - and if H believes his mate...well...need I say more?

[banjosister]

Don't do it girlie,

rise above it.

You WILL regret it.

Wish you all the best with your decision.

Hope it turns out well whatever you decide.

BB xx

[Drisgirl]

Thanks folks -dont know if I made myself clear in my post -H is in digs with the guy who is trying to split us up - I have now told H tonight that his biddy landed on my doorstep and made his intentions clear.
The guy has lied through his teeth to me -all part of his master plan to split us up and get me.Its not gonna happen.
However so long as I am up here and he has H down there (Yorkshire) then I am beat cos he is still trying to get H to leave me so he can move in.
I am wanting to just simply drive down and confront the pair of them and see what they have to say face to MY face.
Thre isnt another woman involved -its bloody worse -i'm near demebted.
I'll let you all know what happens -never a bloody dull moment is there -could do fine without it tho.

Thanks everyone for your advice and responses -as always greatfully received xx

[Psychick]

Ah I get you now! I still wouldnt go rushing off down there just yet. Get some evidence to back it up if you can, emails, phone texts, etc. It sounds like H is going to believe anything other than hard evidence. It also sounds like his mate will continue to lie through his teeth if you are there face to face or not so dont put yourself through all that unless you really really have to and even then, take a friend with you.

[raysparx1]

Hello Dris, I don't know if it is the right tghing to do you can only be who you are, if it was me i would have to face it, go down there and sort it, if anything keeps me awake at night or plays on my mind I have to sort it out, rightly or wrongly, that is how I am made, I always feel better for getting things clear in my head. if you do go, please stay calm, take deep breaths and try not to show any emotion, talk slowly and look into there eyes. good luck in the future Dris wether you go or not, my wife would say ignore the tw@t, easy to say hard to do, take care doll. Ray xx

[4GS]

Morning Dris
I bet things look different now you've had a sleep on it?

[Drisgirl]

Actually John they do - I have re-read the posts and although my gut instict is stiil that I want to confront him -what would be achieved -he would probably just walk out and all that would be for nothing -making me more frustrated.I am gonna try to rise above it .I've left a message on his phone -and very calmly told him I know what he's doing and that I never want to hear from him nor speak to him again.
That apart I couldnt go down today as the weather is absosuletly foul -tress down people getting blown off their feet -nothing is worth putting my life into jeopardy.
Thanks everyone yet again -another saga in the Life of Dris.

[Octavius]

Are you trying to confront the buddy or H? I�m a little confused. If it is the buddy, why on earth are you giving him the time of day and the attention he is craving? Although you do need to make clear that with or without H, there is and never will be anything between you, leaving messages on his phone just perpetuates his delusion that you might have a future together. Some guys think that any contact is a good thing, even if you are swearing at them to sod off.

When you explain to H, how does he react? If it was my missus telling me this, I would be handling it directly with the buddy and would tell her not to contact him directly. If she did, then my suspicions would be aroused. You say that there are probs in the relationship with H, is this because of the friend?

I am a little confused, perhaps I haven�t read it properly. But if H has any feelings for you, he will deal with his mate, without your intervention, which is clearly what buddy is hoping for. It seems to me that you are playing into his hands. Let H be a man and see how he deals with the situation. When that happens, you�ll have a fair idea of what your future holds.

[Drisgirl]

Hi Octavious -it wasthe buddy I really wanted to confront in front of H so H could see him for the liar he is because he wouldnt be able to worm out of it face to face.
H is now going to be dealing with it -I am having no contact at all with his 'mate'.I'm glad its allout in the open now because its been weighing heavy on me -I just quite simply didnt want to say anything to H because his 'mate' has turned out to be a compulsive liar and I was afraid that H might have believed anything he said.Now - as he is house sharing with him he can see for himself what he is really like and knows I'm not B/Sing.
The probs in the relationship I have to say have been almost as a direct result of this through keeping things to myself.Never again.
H and I are now working as a team and you are absolutely correct I was playing right into his hands even although it wasnt the attention he wanted.
Thanks for taking the time to reply -it really does help when youre not thinking properly to have independant advice -it has helped me compartmentalise things -I feel way much better today.TY

[Drisgirl]

Aww redhead -cheers for that I luv you too xxx
I'm not doing it -thanf eff for the mental weather this morning cos I had my route all planned out right down to the roundabouts.

Want his number????? (lol)