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How do I convert to Islam?

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R1Geezer | 13:41 Wed 27th Feb 2008 | Body & Soul
19 Answers
There is really something missing in my life I'm fed up with drinking, Gambling, womanising etc, so I'm thinking of selling the old R1 buying a copy of the Koran and boning up on the prophet. Will I reach enlightenment and contentment this way? Do I just stroll up to the nearest Mosque and ask to be converted or what? Any advice would be most welcome.
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Someone call an Ambulance,
this user has gone insane!!!!!

Geezer, if you keep up these insane posting I'm gonna have to shoot you
If you are really serious, then it has to be one step at a time. The first step is to get yourself circumcised.

Worry about Step 2 afterwards.
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You mean I have to sail round the world first? Seems harsh but I never thought it would be easy.
-- answer removed --
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Have you anyone in mind Raggy?
Well you could behead your little soldier as I suggested. I wouldn�t recommend stoning it. Well not unless you never intend to use it again.
boning up on the prophet

Unfortunate turn of phrase!
Its ages since I went to a good stoning! Can I bring Big Nose?
I think you first need to buy a long dress thing with plenty of room for concealing things, and then ask your mates, whilst looking in a mirror : does my bomb look big in this?grow a wirey beard that looks rediculous (no moustache though) and call yourself Mustaffa!! be carefull not to call yourself Mohamed, I think a teddy bear was beheaded for such a crime!!
I think the beadrs only applies to the men, not sure really as the women all wear masks, maybe they just plain ugly woman!! I dunno!!
Hello, RATTER! Hope you're well x
Im very well thanks Whiskey!!!!!
RIGeezer, your a joker mate! Love it. in all seriousness mate, you know from past posts that I share your views on this subject, but...if you REALLY want a life of peace and enlightenment forget becomming a muzza, become a Buddhist Monk
Ratter's back, he, he! ;o}
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well I phoned the Islam hotline and told them I was feeling a little depressed and could I join up? They kept asking me if I could fly a plane dunno what that was all about!
On the back of a Wetherspoon's menu, it reads:

Our Licolnshire sausage won the 2006 Gold Award from the British Pig Executive.

Wonder why they never gave their name?!
*Lincolnshire even!

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