Pregnancy

[blackpip]

One of our family members is pregnant, 16 weeks to be precise. She has had the perfect pregnancy up till now, but she is very anxious and has been since the start. We all hoped her fears would be quelled when she reached 12 weeks, but no!
She feels she is going to lose the baby and cannot get past these feelings, she should be enjoying her first pregnancy, after all she has waited fot this moment for a long time, she is 32years old and thought she would never have children. Is there anyone out there who can help or has had similar feelings and overcome them. She does not even think about purchasing baby items at all in case she jinks the pregnancy. Help!

[yogasun]

Hello blackpip
I can identify with that. It took 13 years to get pregnant with my first son and I couldn't really relax till about 28 weeks, when, at that time (25 years ago!!), it was considered the stage at which even if baby came he/she would survive.
Every miniscule twinge would worry me and I would have my nose permanantly in baby books (no internet then).
Gradually as time went on it got a little better but I had a very busy job that I didn't leave until about 30 weeks.
That is the only answer - diversionary tactics.
Good luck to her.

[redcrx]

All mums to be do get concerned that all will be OK, its natural. But you sound as if she is really struggling with it all. Has she any reason or previous history to suggest that things may go wrong or is it purely because of how long its taken her to fall pregnant?

I would suggest that she maybe tries to discuss this with her GP or Midwife as she may have signs of pre- natal depression.

Once she reaches 23 weeks she may feel a bit calmer as thats the viable age. But she has past the critical date of 12 weeks, the risks to baby are lowered dramatically from that point.

Is she getting a scan at 20 weeks? this may also help reduce her worries.

[andrea81]

Agree that all women get anxious about this, but it seems that she is particularly anxious! I wonder as Red suggests, that she might have a reason to worry i.e. miscarriage before etc...

I would definatly contact Midwife or GP as they might be able to get her in contact with others who are currently pregnant. We had a local relaxation therepy for pregnant women. It helped me a lot when I was starting to fret!

Talking to others, she might feel that she's quite normal and then feel better!

But best check it out as she might become depressed about it!

x x x x

[sense4all]

One of my friends who was older than thirty with her first pregnancy ( it was a girl baby ) had all kinds of over the top irrational fears throughout that pregnancy, also with the most scary dreams to boot. Afterwards her midwife who had supported her throughout, and with her two further pregnancies ( two boy babies ) said she thought that it was the double shot of girlie hormones - hers and the baby's - that caused all the trouble.