My old school - Am I not very well?

[JockSporran]

My old school holds only dark, painful memories. You can't even begin to imagine. It's gone now. Demolished, bulldozed, grassed over, like it never existed. But I still see it in my dreams and memories, and I have this fantasy or half-belief that after I die I will float through its dark corridors even though the building is gone. Am I not right in the nut? What makes it worse is that I wish it was still there! I must be not right in the nut! It recurs in my dreams all the time. Any advice please!

[dot.hawkes]

my old school is bulldozed too, Ormskirk Grammar School, the old school house from the 1600s is a listed building so that was spared, but the newer blocks were demolished! I was sad, and I do sometimes dream about being lost in the History Block!!

I think you just want to be back in a less stressful and uncaring world Jock.

[weeal]

Im sure youre fine 'in the nut' Jock.

They say dreams are our way of getting rid of thoughts and worries and filing them away in our sleep, and they normally mean the opposite, eg a dream of death means a birth etc.

You probably want to go back and haunt the school to get yer own back!

[JockSporran]

I just want to say thanks, guys. Means tons to me. Maybe I'll be OK now. You've been a help.

[Scarlett]

I think we all go through this- dreams about places we knew in our youth. Our brain holds a ton of information that we have forgotten about, and uses it against us in dreams sometimes, twisting it around, mkaing us fall in love with people we wouldn't look twice at in real life, and making us yearn for places we have since forgotten about. The worst thing is, you can't get closure on this episode of your life as the school is no longer there! why not join friends reunited or facebook and have a look and see if there are old friends or old photos on a group site- that way you could reminisce with old pals and get it out of your system a bit!

[wendilla]

Last year I went back to Scotland for a holiday and this time visited my old school .I always had memories of it with a big round door knocker on the big wooden front door.This was 40 years ago since I last saw it and it was just as if time had stood still. The same knocker was still there and door looked as though it needed a good coat of paint. Can't explain it but I had such an eerie feeling.

[saxy_jag]

My old school isn't a school any more, but it's still there. Some years ago, when it was a sort of teaching resource centre, I had to take a bunch of my students there for a workshop. The lady on reception, when she heard it was my old school, showed me round the place.

I was apprehensive, because it too was the stuff of nightmares for me. It was heartening to see how much it had been altered inside. A cold, manky cloakroom made into a coffee bar and the classrooms carpeted and double-glazed. Some buildings had been demolished, others sold off and used as offices or whatever and - oh heaven - the gym was gone completely!!

It helped settle a lot of demons, and I've furthered that process by writing about it - actually setting a semi-autobiographical novel there.

I don't think you're nuts, Jock. School means as much to us if we hated it as much as if we loved it. The writing of it has actually helped me to achieve some closure on this part of my life and in fact has helped me to move on to something new.

Have a think about writing it out. Even if no-one else ever reads it, it might help you in the same way it's helped me.

[SRH]

I can see my old school from my bedroom window at my parents house - so last year I finally bought a place of my own and moved out! Yet the place still plays on my mind. Always having dreams about it - and, like you, it was the worst time of my life and things happened there that I really wish I could scrap from my mind.

I just use these weird thoughts for the positive - thank God I'm no longer there! What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger etc!

Been tempted to go and torch the place myself, but...

1) It's got a new headteacher and I've heard it's nothing like the way it was;
2) I could end up in jail!

If it's any consolation, you're not alone. And we SURVIVED! WAHEY!

(PS You didn't go to school in Rochdale, did you?) ;)

[Octavius]

My old school was flattened too, to make way for a new stand at West Ham United � the bar stewards! Anne Boleyn used to haunt and walk the corridors, apparently. Wonder where she walks now.

I don�t really have particular fond or horrible memories of it, and the only dreams I have are about Jennifer Rogers in form 3.1 and Miss Wright, which is nice.