Hello smudge. Thank you so much for your kind words and wishes - my breakdown happened fifteen years ago, but it affeects my life every day in the same was gravity - I don;t always think about it, but it is always there. I continue to take anti-depressants, which keep me level, and I accept this in the way a diabetic accepts insulin, it's something I live with. Anyway, sorry to ramble on about me - when I suggested the 5 mg option, I meant that you should ask your pharmacist to give you your prescription in 5mg tablets, which they should be happy with if you ask. As people like us are well aware, our blessings do nothing to negate the gorilla of depression that plays with us like rag dolls as and whend it feels like it, leaving us in the corner of the cage, waiting for the bext time it fels like smashing us around for a while. Thanks again for your good wishes, echoed and returned by me to you - i shall watch this thread even when it drops off the '20', or you can re-post to keep me, and all of us caring regulars, advised of your progress. Just remember, nothing matters very much, and most things don't matter at all. Best, A x