Suicide

[4getmenot]

An old friend of mine committed suicide a couple of days ago and last night I sat in bed thinking about it. The how could anyone or what could be that bad etc. I mean he was in a lot of debt but hey do what lots of people do go bankrupt, but also the way in which he died, I mean yer at some point in life we're all going to die and someone has to find us, but he hung himself from goalposts on a playing field, why?? Not only would it be possible some stranger found him and be haunted for life but even more possible a child. I find it disgusting and it makes me angry but sad at the same time. I have lost 4 friends now through suicide, 3 hangings and one overdose. Is there any nice way to go?

[firewatch]

oh dear, im sorry to hear that, i too have lost someone that way, not hanging from goal posts but from an attic hatchway. I was only eleven at the time and it still haunts me(not that i saw her, they wouldn't let me say goodbye). May be he was crying out for help and did it in a public place in vein hope someone would find him and rescue him? This was the case with my mum, she had tried it several times, and was saved every time bar the last.
Suicide is never the best way to go as it leaves gaping holes in the lives it leaves behind, by the sounds of it a friend found him?
There will now be many question with answers unknown for those he leaves behind. You need to stay strong, remember them in the happy times, not at the end, when they chose to end there lives. Be there for his loved ones. I will be popping in and out to see if you are ok, im here as is every one if you need to vent!!Take care hunny xx

[4getmenot]

Bless you firewatch. I don�t think I�ve ever come across you before you seem very nice. Its ok I�m not that sad as knew him long time ago, its just a shock. I don�t know who found him so may have been a child. But if it was a cry for help then surely there�s other ways. That must have been awful for you as a child to find your mum and cant have got any easier, can I ask did you ever get an answer, did she leave a note? Not one of the other people that killed themselves left a note. In fact one of them I�d been set up on a date with and he killed himself after that so doesn�t make that any easier. But I guess you kind of get upset but very angry too.

[stonemonkey]

4get I had a very close friend who hanged himself in his loft. His 13 year old son found him. I think it takes some guts to kill yourself, but what a selfish act. I know that his son has never recovered from the sight.

That was over ten years ago, but his friends still miss him. For so long after, I used to pick up the phone to call, and then suddenly remember he wasn't there anymore. It was a waste of a vibrant and active man. His personality was happy go lucky and friendly. Unfortunately he was obviously wearing a mask to hide his deep depression. I wish I could have stopped him, but I don't think anyone can if a person is determined to die. The last thing he said to another friend was "Oh mate, I've had enough of this." He was dead a few hours later.

[4getmenot]

You're right that no-one can stop them if they are determined. Its just so horrible.

[stonemonkey]

It's the worst thing, and the feelings of anger and guilt remain for years. When I think back to all the conversations I had with him, it was a given that he was going to kill himself. His passion was cars and I imagined that he'd driven into a wall or a lake. I never imagined hanging as an option for him. What makes me unbearably sad is the thought of the loneliness flooding through him as he stood preparing his rope. That's the one thing I can't find any peace with. I keep in touch with his parents, and the toll it took on them is undescribable. His death has imprisoned them in deep grief.

I also had a school friend who had a few failed attempts at suicide. They were half hearted, and please don't think I'm treating this subject lightly, but she'd take a handful of pills just after she'd phoned someone for help. She had bulimia as well. Eventually we all ignored her cry wolf tactics. That may seem harsh, but it got the message through to her eventually.

[4getmenot]

I too knew people when at school that tried the overdose with about 10 paracetamol, that to me isn�t a cry for help but attention seeking, if you�re going to do it you do, and that�s why most are shocked because a lot of the time it�s the people you least expect to. One of my friends brothers hung himself but because no one thought he ever would he was just classed as missing, he hung for months in a field behind their house until they eventually found him.

[horselady]

I've known 2 people who killed themselves, one gassed himself in his car the other hung himself from a tree and was found by a little boy. I felt desperately sorry that they had done this but so angry at the one who was found by the child. Poor kid, bet he's never forgotten it to this day.

[DrFilth]

first of all i am sorry to hear of your friend i have known 6 people who have taken there own lives .when people on the ab site slag people of for being on benefits i wonder what goes through their minds when this happens to someone they know.do they say to themselves his was genuine ,he was ill or do they just shrug there shoulders.out of a group of people i use to have a drink with two had the same name one always happy one always look worried no job no money. saw the lad on a wednesday said hello and had a chat. went into the same pub next night and was told by another friend that ????? had commited suicide. straight away i said that i thought that he always look sad and worried.then was told that it was not that ????? but the one i have had a drink with the night before.i said i was talking to him last night and he replied so was i thats why im telling you i know he was your friend.he left the pub went home and put a rope round his neck.this person was always happy had a job had a nice home everything did not have an enemy in the world.
everybody liked him he was laughing and joking with me and then went off to speak to a couple of the other people in the pub , he left the pub happy and smiling.

[4getmenot]

My mate was out jogging once down an old railway line and his personal stereo stopped, he stopped jogging to sort it out looked up and found my another friends father hanging from the bridge. After that his stereo never worked again

[4getmenot]

Exactly it always seems to be the happy jokey ones. One of my freinds held a big party one new years eve for all his mates and went home that night on stroke of 12 rang his family said goodbye and jumped from bannister. I just find it strange and a waste of all them years they've been alive.

[LoftyLottie]

Really sorry 4get. Terrible news for you.

Personally, I don't think we can ever know what is going on in a person's mind before they take their own life. I hesitate to call it a selfish act because the mind must be so derranged at the time that the person cannot be accused of thinking straight (even if it is a planned act). To be selfish you need to be contriving.

Is there a nice way to go? I doubt it. Taking a single pill would probably be the best - but the majority of us wouldn't have access to this.

What I find so awful is the growing amount of young people (particularly young men) that take their own lives.

Take care xxx

[DrFilth]

with the nice mr brown making the poor people poorer and having more debt ,unable to have heating on in the winter,no food etc do you not think more people will take their own lives ?

[4getmenot]

the teenagers that kill themselves I dont get either, I cant see what worries they have, they cant have money problems when at home and nothing to pay for, no responsibilities. Maybe a bigger problem that they cant talk about

[LoftyLottie]

Actually 4get I can almost understand the teenagers. They have more emotional pressures than I had as a teenager. They are expected to achieve at a time when they are going through terrific changes, and they have pressures from peer groups and media to conform to a pattern of behaviour and physical appearance that never used to happen.

Life is just not carefree for them anymore. I don't think financial pressures come into it.

[4getmenot]

Maybe you are right

[DrFilth]

one of the teenagers that killed himself did have money problems,no serious debt just strugling to get by each week and i think he was lonely he wakled into the canal and kept his head under the water .his body was found in the early hours by a shift worker on his way to work

[firewatch]

i did not find her. This is the really awful part, her then boyfriend knew she had mental health issues (munchousen syndrome by proxy)(cant spell it), and when he could not get into there flat he left it 4 hours before calling the police. My dad said at the time (they where divorced) that if it had been him, he would have kicked the door in as he knew what she was like.
She left post it notes all around the flat indicating who was to have what, but no note to say why. I will never forget coming home from school to find a police car outside the house and my dad talking to a policeman. It took a few days for it to sink in she was dead, only on the evening two days later, my birthday, did it hit.
It still sneaks up on me.
much like stone monkey, i had friends who saught attention by taking 'overdoses', i closed my ears to them after a while and they grew out of it.
My husbands in the fireservice, and they dread the calls where they are asked to assist with access and removal.
deaths like these are pebbles in a still pond there ripples are endless, interlocking and no no depth.

[4getmenot]

sorry I read it wrong thought you found her. I too would have kicked door down if she had problems

[Doc_Spock]

A nice way for me to go would be quitely in my sleep, not shouting and screaming like my dads passengers.

[4getmenot]

Ilm sure you didnt quite say that right doc