Ex-boyfriend

[CAJ1]

I have a 2 year non-molestation order out against my ex as he turned into a stalker/psycho when I left him following a 5 yr violent relationship. He knows where I work but does not know where I live. I know he has been trying to find me through my friends. The order is up in January - do you think he will have got over this by then. If he hasn't what am I going to do??

[Postdog]

If youknow that he has been trying to find things out about you, then no, he is still a risk at the moment. Come nearer the time, start keeping a diary IF you have any suspispicions or facts.

On the plus side, and sorry to put it so crudely, he has done nothing major so far, and so is really unlikely to once the order is up. If he was gonna hurt you, a bit of paper wouldn't stop him.

If you start getting harrassed again. just go back to court asap.

[CAJ1]

I took him back to court last year for texting me, he's on his last warning - its the threat of jail stopping him doing anything else at the moment I think. I also have my suspicions that he was watching my house and he knew when I had moved.

Keeping a diary is a good plan, I hope he is over it by then, I'm getting fed up of running scared!

[lil123]

Hello!!
You could go back to women's aid and get them to help you take out another order.
If he turns up near your work or is hassling your friends then that is harassment also.
Maybe contact a good solicitor for the free half hour advice they give also x
Take care xx

[bensmum]

This is a horrible situation to be in CAJ1, I don't think people really appreciate just how scary it is to think that you are being watched and that feeling of looking over your shoulder all the time. I was advised to keep a diary, as suggested, together with any records of telephone calls, recordings of any answerphone messages etc. Also get your friends to let you know if he contacts them so that you can record that. I was lucky in that the local police were very helpful but if the harassment continues you should be able to get an injunction against him.
Good luck

[Marg0]

mmmmmmmm. hard one. The 'finding stuff out about you' may be curiosity and not necessarily an indication that he hasn't moved out of his crazy obsession stage.

[CAJ1]

The only problem with getting another order is that I'm still paying the last one off. My solicitors bill was over a thousand pound but I guess its worth it for peace of mind!

Because they make sure you feel useless and that no one else would have you. Everytime I left him he hounded me til I gave in and returned. He didn't let me go out so I didn't have a good network of friends to support me. I wish I'd had the courage to leave him long before I did. Its hard to understand unless you've been there raggyroman...