mother in laws!

[bubbles4920]

after 2 weeks of my inlaws visiting, when i went out to shops today, she had moved my towel and tea towel from the kitchen and changed it and the other towel in the downstairs toilet. she leaves tomorrow thankfully. why does she have to interfere, i suppose im just ranting here, no, im not a dirty cow, it really isnt her place to do this, is it ? i replaced the towel as she had put 2 tea towels out in the kitchen, ahhhhhhhggggghh!!! what can you say or do eh?im a very independent person and surely a womans kitchen is her own territory. roll on less than 18 hours and counting!! i wouldnt dream of doing something like this!!!!! would you if you are a mother in law by the way?!

[Panic Button]

Oh you will, when your kids are grown up. All Mums do.

[puddicat]

Is that all you have to worry about i think not are you just nearly married perhaps?, after 2 weeks you are damn lucky she hadnt swopped your 3 piece and redecorated, just bite your tongue and let it go !

[firewatch]

yey! im not alone! my mother in law drives me crackers. We are just marriead, and she keeps sticking her nose in where it is not wanted. And she has the balls to tell me im not sick and there is nothing wrong with me, like hello?! who fainted at work on Sunday?! Im so glad im not alone!!!!! can we start a section entitled mother in law rants?

[ethandron]

i have two sons so one day (hopefully) i'll become a mother-in-law, and really, really hope that any future daughter-in-law never, ever has reason to rant about me. you're right bubbles, it's out of order to change your towels, definately not something i would do, and she should have shown a little more respect for you in your own home.
rather than let things like this fester i would remark on it, as pleasantly as you can, just to let her know how you feel. she may actually have thought she was helping, but does need to know there's a line which she mustn't cross.

[andy-hughes]

Not for nothing are 'mother-in-law' jokes the staple of northern comedians.

For daughters-in-law this situation can be really hard - no woman is good enough for any mother's son, but the sensible m-i-l keeps her opinions to herself, and doesn;t overstep the mark, as your has clearly dlone.

The step to avoid is when things drive a wedge between you and your husband, who is in the middle, and should of course side with you in any battles, but will find it hard so to do.

If things get out of hand, and it is apparent that your m-i-l is simply scoring points and winding you up, then it is entirely appropriate to mark your territory once and for all. Not easy, but if she is going to make it her business to underlmine you in your own home, she has got it coming.

Good luck!

[taichiperson]

I also have two sons, and am quite happy with the thought of being a grandmother. However, the prospect of being a mother in law is daunting. I hope that when the time comes (if it does), I will not be seen as the enemy.
Having said that, I also would hate to have my things moved about or be criticised for the way I run my house, however well-deserved. In answer to your question, no I would not move things around, I would try to fit in with the status quo and keep any reservations to myself.

[bensmum]

I have 2 sons, one of whom is married and I get along very well with my d -in-law. Mind you I always said that anyone brave enough to take on my eldest son deserved a medal! Seriously I don't interfere with their lives and I expect the same respect from them. Perhaps your m-in-law thought she was helping - it's difficult being in another woman's kitchen and not knowing what to do for the best.

[bubbles4920]

yes, im afraid she has also driven a wedge between me and my hubby, i wont be speaking to him when they leave today. hes a donkey as much as her. i asked him to support me and defend me more last week and things have happened since where its been right infront of him and he probably hasnt realised, perhaps a typical man. ive been seen as an evil daughter in law no doubt, its been bad, when ive wanted to comment on something i suppose i have used him like a pawn eg when the american idol final was on that the m i l never watches she kept commenting all the way through. so i said to hubby for him to be quiet in the last 10 minutes as i had watched the programme closely for the last 16 weeks and wanted to enjoy it. he also wound me up yesterday, the only whole day off with them, hes been at work everyday, he put the sport on and went on his laptop leaving them just sitting there in another part of the house, words were had! i could go on forever, yes maybe there should be a separate forum re mother in law rants! on leaving today, i can now expect her as usual to pull all the sheets off the bed and clean around, sounds good but its as though im not allowed to see her crumpled sheets that they have probably been having rampant sex on etc for the last 2 weeks, ahhhhhhhggggggghhhh!!!!!! i should have know that after them only staying for one long weekend b4 that they would be the same but worse for a fortnight, doh!!!!!

[stonemonkey]

My mother-in-law is lovely but can interfere. In our old house, she moved all the vases/ornaments because she thought they looked better elsewhere. She always complains that an old brass miner's lamp she gave us, isn't as shiny as when she had it. It was her father's. I bite my tongue, but I'm lucky because she doesn't visit here all that often. She speaks to her daughters as if they are stupid, and I don't get treated like that, so I count my blessings.

Your husband should support you. Mine knows exactly what his Mum's like and wouldn't let her boss me about, or take over. He learnt that from when she moved the stuff in the other house!

[bubbles4920]

forgot to say too, i just cant wait for my life back, she fusses too much, have you got this,have you got that, watch this, watch that, watch your head, got it? when giving me a glass etc, give me your handbag, watch your handbag, is your zip done up on your handbag?, got everything? when i say what there is for lunch when i have to pop out, she says not to worry they will sort something out, im not worrying, im just telling you, ahhhhhhhhgggggggghhhhh!!!!! i think my rant should stop here, my blood pressure must be sky high!! btw,im not an ungrateful cow, i just dont want to be a nervous wreck!

[bubbles4920]

no, we have been together for a long time, but have now moved to the states so b4 we just saw each other for birthdays, mother/fathers day as they lived about 70 miles away. now it seems it could be an annual thing here as there is such a distance, no way, im outta here if it is! im also the one who rings them, my hubby never wants to call them or be handed over to speak to them on the phone, bet thats a common 'son' trait too!?

[horselady]

As a mother-in-law I wouldn't do this at my daughter-in-laws house, but when I go to my daughters house I behave completely differently. She doesn't object, just ignores me and lets me get on with it. There is a slight barrier of politeness with a daughter-in-law I think, however close they are.

[daffy654]

Do the mothers of daughters act the same way to their son in laws or is it just mothers of sons to daughters in law? I have 2 daughters and a son and have never acted that way with my daughters boyfriends,my son is only 10 so i've not had the chance to check out my theory yet.lol.

[horselady]

daffy654
Although I said I behave differently at my daughter's house, you made me think with your question. I'm only like that when just her and me and the children are there. When my son-in-law comes home I do change and wouldn't dream of poking my nose in. I'm obviously a very polite and courteous mother-in-law (tee-hee)

[Kleiber]

Mine hasn't spoken to me for about 17 years! Her and father-in-law were jealous because my hubby & I worked hard & could afford things that they never could. If my son did better than me, I'd be proud, not jealous.
Anyway, I'm happy to keep it that way. The old so & so didn't even contact me or her grandson when my hubby died!!

[muppeteer]

take a chill pill- you are getting wound up by every little thing she says or does- she is probably thinking she cant do anything right. i know its a pain in the bum as my own mum does it to me (the same watch your handbag, have you remembered your keyes/purse, cut the sandwhiches in triangles- they taste better sort of thing!), but is each individual thing that big a deal? say to her i've noticed you have changed the tea towels- thanks very much! i wish all house guests could be as thoughtful as you!
i say kill her with kindness & watch her reaction change

[cc1]

On being given the news of an impending first grandchild, the only response we got was "What will you do about his meals when you're in hospital????????" After that, not a word of concern for my welfare for 9 months! Luckily,we lived overseas.

[jacksgran]

When I went into hospital to be induced for my third baby. my mother in law decided to wash my two little daughters coats, which I had washed the day before. She was so houseproud, she used to be under the table with dustpan and brush before you had finished eating.