I have harmed myself at various times over the years. I used to cut myself quite badly. It is hard to describe to someone who doesn't self-harm, but I suppose the best way to describe it was that I experienced an incredible feeling of relief, a release of negative emotion, for a short time after I cut myself. Of course, it doesn't last, and then you have to add in the guilt hurting yourself, but that short time of relief makes it all worth while. I was in therapy and on medication when I was cutting most frequently. I am still in therapy, but very little medication now and haven't harmed myself in a few years. When discussing this with a self-harmer, it is very easy to say the wrong thing and make things worse and close of avenues of dicsussion. do your research before plowing in there and making things worse. Being supportive is all you can do sometimes. Good Luck.