I am so angry

[Drisgirl]

No surprise there before anyone starts !!

My husband has just came back from the pub and this guy we both know -in his fifties -has lung cancer.
He is still smoking plus taking chemo.

He was told if he gave up the fags he could at least have a couple of extra years -he has a 17yr old son.

He has decided -whats the point giving up the fags for a couple of years -what a selfish swine -the couple of years could be spent taking his missus and son on holiday -sitting and enjoying each others company and also crucially telling each other how much they mean to each other !!

I am so angry cos my husband has just said he would be the same.

Wish my kids had had the opportunity -I am incesnded that he is taking chemo and not helping himself -selfish -o grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!

Life is precious -only to some tho !!!

He should not have chemo if he is not prepared to help himself -even laughing about it in the pub -o and I hate my husband for thinking this is bleeding funny -arse hole !!

[Drisgirl]

O and I forgot -when he thinks its time -he will commit suicide -so he says -thus negating any insurance policies -what a selfish *******!

[razmataz]

How awful!

[razmataz]

That's extraordinary behaviour for a dying man.

[Drisgirl]

I'm being serioius -just so happens its co-incided with LC posting -I had forgotten about that.

[mrs_overall]

He sounds like a Grade A prat!
If it's any consolation most insurance policies DO NOT exclude suicide these days, so his nearest and dearest would still get a payout. Don't tell him though!

[Lakitu]

If only it worked like that - continue the cigs and forfeit chemo. As for the commit suicide part, is here a chance he's saying that to mask the fear of the last stages?

If I was in that situation, I'd be worried about those last few weeks.

[lung cancer]

i can relate

[razmataz]

This is creepy lc. Why do you insist on being so weird? There isn't anything wrong with you is there? Well not physically anyway.

[Drisgirl]

Ta for agreeing with me Mrs O -I am so angry that people dont take life seriously.I dodnt know about the insurance that is news to me -thats made me angrier lol !!!

Raz -I am being serious -really -and im not justifying myself either cos I dont.

How can fags come before your family -even if you were told you were dying surely you would chap it on the head in the chance you could live longer.
Man- I smoked and gave up -when I was pregant and for a couple of yrs after and then for good 7yrs ago -and that wasnt because of being told I had cancer.

I just dont get why people dont find life precious.

[cruella]

Dris,
Your friend may well be in denial at the moment. Even shock. Illnesses affect people in different ways, some can be very strong and face their illness head on, others bury their head in the sand. Hopefully, he will sit down and think about his family as well as himself.
Anyway, I don't know him but I wish him all the best. I hate to hear of anyone being diagnosed like this. xx

[Drisgirl]

Lakitu -I have a living will ergo I wouldnt have my life prolonged and wouldnt have my family suffer.
However I wouldnt ever put myself in the position where I was robbing them of a couple of more years -that is sick sick sick and and very selfish.
I am not maudling but my 2 children have said that they would give anything for 10SECONDS with their dad -to tell him how much they loved him -they didnt get that chance -(he never smoked BTW) -yet Jack the Lad cant even give up his fags to spend another couple of YEARS with his son -theres no justice in this life !!

[Drisgirl]

Crue -thanks hun -just a bit heated ATM -trial on Tuesday so we are all- after 9 months of hell-getting there- so to hear someone being so blase about it -it fuels me.
I'll get in touch on FB -hun-havent really had a chance xxx

Yip daresay he is in denial -well he would be in the Ericht if he had said that to me lol !!!!

[bednobs]

who the hell are you to pass judgement on the way other people live their lives? So he dosent have the same values as you - so what?

so are you saying if people keel over with a heart attack, because they dont give up smoking we could just leave them there because they should not have treatment.
having worked as a mac nurse, i would think it would be very unlikely any dctor told him he'd have a set amount of time more if he gave up smoking - there, were you?
Sorry to sound so arsey but really it is NOTHING to do with you how someone else lives their life, or dies their death

[zzxxee]

whilst i sympathise my partners mum passes on a few years ago of this illness its his death sentance he is dealing with it the best way he can mcmillian nurses are very good people to talk to for support good luck

[stonekicker]

drisgirl - i sympathise because whenever the topic comes up in my household my hubby says the same thing and it makes me really mad too. i think it is a very short-sighted and selfish perspective to have (i'm not saying the diseased person should not have a choice in their care/treatment) but they should also consider those around them (nearest and dearest) who will also experience things as well. ultimately, there are some very selfish people out there who will consider their own perspective above those of others at all times. the issue of committing suicide and voiding the insurance policies is also repellant - not only is this man being selfish in life - has he any idea of the damage he will do to his family in the aftermath of his life if they have the stress/angst and no financial security to makes things easier? aaaaarghhh! my hubby has looked over my shoulder and we are now arguing as well - someone will be sleeping on the sofa!!!!!

[razmataz]

No.. Drisgirl. I was not accusing you of making up the story. I was just expressing my shock at your account. I suppose it did look like I was being sarcastic. I must be bad at expressing myself :(

[cruella]

Dris, I did know the date had been put back to June, but unaware it is going ahead next week.
Thoughts will be with you and your family.
Will email you on FB next week.
Just hang in there. xxx

[Drisgirl]

cool -bedknobs -wasnt an argument -he said it himself but then he is maybe lying.I am not in th position to tell anyone how to lead their lives -I just feel for the ones left behind and if -as he said - he has the oppo of another couple of years -then I would kick the fags and take the chemo -I wouldnt do both.
I'm not judgemental -all this came from the horses mouth -not hearsay,BTW -that was harsh towards me -I purposely posted in here to avoid this and at this precise moment in MY life when someone doesnt treasure theirs them yip I do feel a tad bitter.

Why cant people just post thier opinion without having a go -that saddens me.

ZZ -guess so -I just feel so bitter when people have a chance of prolonging their lives but wont do it -they will be gone but think of the loved ones left behind thinking that fags were more precious than them.

[bensmum]

Just wanted to say,Dris, that my thoughts will be with you next week.
XX

[bednobs]

i dont really understand how you can assert "i'm not judgemental" when 1) all human beings are and 2) your whole post is passing judgement on this unfortunate person simply because he is not of the same opinion of you. You've said yourself that you have your own agenda going on.
I think we are not dissimilar in our views, i too find it hard to understand, but until I am inthat position, or any of us, how would we know how we would react. Plus, you are not really helping yourself by getting so insenced, hating your husband, and getting so angry - its not going to change the blokes mind is it, but will hurt you and your relationship, all for someone else!