Do people really like you?

[puddicat]

Havent got a load of true friends,know loads of people though,just recently met a couple of i thought friends,the first has gone through alot in the past with preventive surgery,dont see her very often but think of her, i told her i had some stuff that i didnt want ie foodstuff from my cupboard,she was really into having it, so walked up the road with a really heavy bag and saw her in the carpark with her husband ran to the car and gave her the bag,she thanked and said he would be in touch no call back,and today saw i wouldnt say a friend as such but a ex colleague who went through a bad time her partner had a affair, tryed to see her now again through coming to the gym where she worked,funny enough saw her today in a shop and she basically said hello she was ok i hanged back to to talk and she was gone fed up being caring!!!!

[sleepy1]

thats what some people are like ...i get fed up when i make a effort with people and they just sh it on you ...when i think back to the things i have done for people and they never put themselves out for me ,looking after other peoples kids was the main one ...

[puddicat]

Sleepy so sad wasnt kids for me,just being there for someone like i thought would be there for me,you are a good person!!!!and they are arrrrrrrgh want swear !!!

[sara3]

it can be a bit of a thankless task, and we end up finding out who our true friends are.

quality over quantity every time :o)

[gina32]

they have 2 choices!

[puddicat]

I know what you are saying is right,but it still hurts!

[lajohn]

some people are just 'users' Puddicat.
at least in your conscience you know you
did the right thing and extended your hand
when someone needed your help. don't let
selfish people take away your joy and make you
become like them. i think you are lovely and
people don't know what they are missing out
when they refuse your friendship.

maybe they were busy and had commitments to meet?

[sleepy1]

puddicat some people are just all for them self's ..i have learnt now to say noooooooo ...,,,sorry to hear how upset you are ..if they are like that your worth more than that ...xx

[Jugglering]

I think the secret is never expect anything back... then you don't get disappointed. Assume that anything you do for someone else won't be reciprocated, so you only give stuff away because you want to get rid of it and they have a need for it, not because you want a thank you. Similarly, if you do something for someone else, don't expect a fuss, just do it because you want to (and can do it) and leave it at that.

I believe that what goes around, comes around, so all your good deeds will be rewarded in some way, one day, just not in ways you might expect.

[puddicat]

lajohn thanks not a soppy type but i want ure babies lol,think the first one was jealous of me she was always making comments about my figure my hair and how her husband would give me one,made her feel secure and yet she is all giving to her family

[China Doll]

Yep! Can't think why they'd put up with me otherwise, I'm not exactly the cute, fluffy type. There's people out there who I've lost contact with or who I no longer regard as friends but there's no point in being bitter about it. I'm grateful for the friends I have and if I make more then that's even better. If not, at least I know who my friends are and I'm blessed in that respect.

[helliebobs]

Juggs, I can't agree with you more. I was actually saying this to another ABer earlier on. I've had some really **** friendships over the years and one of the best things I've learnt is never expect people to behave the way you do or think the way you do. A few years back I fell out with one of my best friends - we had argued before, but this time she really let me down - and I felt that after so many years of me supporting her (self harm, depression, her mother's death etc), she just threw it all back in my face. I am only 28 but I am luckily at a point in my life where I know who my real friends are and I no longer feel the need to make so many friends - if someone is no good in my life, I get rid of them. It sounds harsh, but if you have one or two good friends, then you don't need toxic people in your life. Keep the ones who actually care about you.

[cazzz1975]

you know puddicat, I have noticed that alot lately with friends, there are people I have known for years who are happy to take what they can get but basically dont give a monkeys about you !

the penny only dropped with me a few months back, as soon as you stop giving they disappear! fairweather friends!

[theonlyone]

I do loads of stuff for people ..but if
I said the wrong thing to one particular
person ..it's like WW3...now sorted ..I just do the friend thing ..no extras ....
sad really ..but life goes on ..

[Drisgirl]

Puddi -youre a good sort -think its been said -dont give and expect anything back in return
Bizarrely I get more satisfaction out of being able to help anyone and NOT expect anything in return.
I can be sensitive -like you -but at the end of the day -I have a very tight knit circle of friends who i would trust with my life and vice versa -I dont have a bfg circle of friends -thats my choice.

Maybe take a step back and stick with the tried and tested ones- then you wont feel shunned.x

You sound a lovely person BTW neeb lol xxx

[puddicat]

I am not bitter,i am a good person and only want the best for someone who has been kind to me in the past and i thought we had a bond of sorts,believe me i will leave tomorro and never give them a second glance,i am in my fifties now and realise i was a idiot too believe otherwise

[Velvetee]

I think most people are users. Only interested in their own problems, needs and wants.

I have a friend, who I did the 10K run with yesterday. I did it mainly to keep her company, but whenever she calls, it's usually because she wants something or wants to talk about her problems. I can be on the phone with her for 2 hours and hardly get a word in. In fact, I've put the phone to one side before to go and make a cup of tea and come back and she's still talking about herself.

I've just come to accept that's how she is and doesn't realise she's quite self centred. It's hard to find decent, genuine friends.

[Sir Alec]

Hello puddicat. I've been treat like you all my life. I can't honestly say that I've got one true friend. This is the 1st year I havn't sent a birthday card and present to someone I called a friend for the last 5 years. I've never even had a card from them in all this time and I too feel very used.
There used to be a "friend" who always turned up on the day that I used to bake. Once I'd been ill and hadn't made anything. They walked in saying, "where's all the cakes and buns?" They didn't stay long when they realized there weren't any and I never saw them again! Just as well, really, no loss.

[puddicat]

velvet u are funny,after all had a run in with dris maybe she cant remember whey hey what the hell,my first girlfriend is so wrapped up in her husband that treats her like s..e,he doesnt regonise she has no boobs doesnt talk about it,the other my son was going out with her daughter when they were only 12 lol,the girl is the mother of 2 to a policeman,and my son is courting a irish girl!

[Drisgirl]

erm -not that I am really in the mood puddi but what run in ? I'm not sure just how new you are here but it might have been a difference of opinion but certainly not a run in -you have me bamboozled now???