Emjac, we are living in very strange times - but probably no more strange or brutal than has gone on throughout history. We are lucky that living in Britain etc we are generally shielded from the worst excesses of human nature.
I work in news, and I have never ever been so affected in doing my job as I have by recent events in Russia. I'm normally able to shrug off such things, but, over the last week I have been deeply deeply unsettled by what went on at that school.
Like you, I have a young child and I think what we have seen brings it home all the more. Your problems are probably made worse than the fact your husband is away.
It's really important that you unload your fears on a friend or family member.
They are not irrational worries, but need to be put in perspective. It's good to have a cry. And talking to colleagues has really helped me.
You have an undoubtably beautiful son, and for all the nastiness we are exposed to, there is also great love, warmth and generosity in the world. There really is.
There are billions of people in the world, and what just 8 Chechens did in that school unbelievably rare occurance.
I really do wish you all the best. But make sure you talk to someone. It is so important.