What I'm about to say isn't always advised by health care professionals, so it's up to you as to whether you copy me or not.
When I've had this problem before, the first thing I've done is put something like Earex in for a couple of days, plugging the ear with a bit of cotton wool.
Then I get a squeezy bottle and fill it with lukewarm water. I attach a length of plastic tubing to the nozzle, which you can get from a wine making supplier. Then I tip the bottle upside down, point the end of the tube into my ear and squeeze the bottle. If I work the end of the tube around a little (and NOT poking it right into the ear), I can usually dislodge the offending wax.
I find the whole process easier if I do it whilst I'm in the bath, and I sometimes get my partner to help with holding up and squeezing the bottle. Very undignified, but it does work.
I will stress here, though, that I am completely in control of the end of the tube that goes into my ear, and I do not poke it down any further than where it touches. Neither do I have any pain or any other ear conditions that may render this process dangerous.
As I said, it's not generally a recommended procedure and you'd do it at your own risk, but it works for me.