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Im really worries about a friend of mine and wondered what you guys thought.
He has always been a very active guy and loves nothing more than being outside or doing DIY. My worry is that it has now got to the point where he will not stop. He insists that sitting doing nothing is a waste of time. He works full time and as soon as he gets home he's looking for something else to do whether it be DIY or exercise or going out. He happily keeps himself busy until the early hours and has now got to the point where he cannot sleep until he is physcially or mentally exhausted.
He has so many things going on in his life that he has to write lists for everything and is always stressing about forgetting stuff.
Is this a normal attitude to life? Im worried his health will be effected if he continues with this attitude. How can you make someone slow down if they dont want to?
He has always been a very active guy and loves nothing more than being outside or doing DIY. My worry is that it has now got to the point where he will not stop. He insists that sitting doing nothing is a waste of time. He works full time and as soon as he gets home he's looking for something else to do whether it be DIY or exercise or going out. He happily keeps himself busy until the early hours and has now got to the point where he cannot sleep until he is physcially or mentally exhausted.
He has so many things going on in his life that he has to write lists for everything and is always stressing about forgetting stuff.
Is this a normal attitude to life? Im worried his health will be effected if he continues with this attitude. How can you make someone slow down if they dont want to?
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Hello wisewomen, I don't think you can make someone slow down if they don't want to. Just like you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to! You sound like a wonderful friend though. If it is the case that he is keeping himself busy to avoid facing deeper emotional issues then at some point, as with all things, they will "out" in the end. You will be there when they do. If this isn't the case and he is just a really active person then it doesn't sound like it's doing him any harm at all.
Sounds like my neighbour, and it's got to a point of being obsessive.
He is out and about in the garden, christ I haev seen him "dusting" his fence - everything has to be perfect, when he's deadheading plants he almost counts them meticulously, when he is doing something it takes hims like - all day? Even though it's just a five minute job for anyone else. He hardly ever goes out, and I never see many visitors, it's bizzarre, but also does my head in as everytime I go outside he's there shuffling around sneeky like - rain hail sleet or shine, and it freaks me out as I can't seem to spend time in my garden without him being there, and feel he's listening in to everything. Used to quite enjoy taking my phone outside and talking sitting on my garden furniture, not now - it's ruined all that for us.
The only think I could suggest is to tell him straight as this is the only way to make an impact - sure as hell if I knew someone like that and knew another person like me having to be his neighbour - and the stress it's caused me over the yrs, I would say to him ASAP.
He is out and about in the garden, christ I haev seen him "dusting" his fence - everything has to be perfect, when he's deadheading plants he almost counts them meticulously, when he is doing something it takes hims like - all day? Even though it's just a five minute job for anyone else. He hardly ever goes out, and I never see many visitors, it's bizzarre, but also does my head in as everytime I go outside he's there shuffling around sneeky like - rain hail sleet or shine, and it freaks me out as I can't seem to spend time in my garden without him being there, and feel he's listening in to everything. Used to quite enjoy taking my phone outside and talking sitting on my garden furniture, not now - it's ruined all that for us.
The only think I could suggest is to tell him straight as this is the only way to make an impact - sure as hell if I knew someone like that and knew another person like me having to be his neighbour - and the stress it's caused me over the yrs, I would say to him ASAP.
This sounds very like an old friend of mine who suffered with bi-polar disorder..........I still think the term manic depression fitted better.........She used to be awake for around 20 hours a day cleaning,gardening etc when in one of the 'manic' phases of her illness.It could last for weeks until she was so exhausted that she collapsed.It could be that your friend also has bi-polar disorder and needs to be seen by his GP.
I had a neighbour like this. He never stopped. He mowed the lawn every day and drove us mad (1/2 acre with a hand mower!). He was also a compulsive cleaner and everything had to be precise. He even planted his potatoes out using a ruler to measure the space inbetween each plant.
With him, I think he definitely suffered with OCD.
Your friend might well be heading this way. I would just have a friendly chat with him about it. Make light of it and don't indicate that you think he has a problem. See how it goes.
With him, I think he definitely suffered with OCD.
Your friend might well be heading this way. I would just have a friendly chat with him about it. Make light of it and don't indicate that you think he has a problem. See how it goes.
I dont think it is OCD, he's not precise about what he does he just has to be doing something and wont leave anything until it is done. He is always planning what has to be done next or what can be done next. No having money to do stuff frustrates him and he winds himself up about it.
Im just worried what effect all this busy-ness will have on his health.
We all need to relax to let our bodies regenerate and fight infections and things, but relaxing is not a part of his life..
Im just worried what effect all this busy-ness will have on his health.
We all need to relax to let our bodies regenerate and fight infections and things, but relaxing is not a part of his life..
My son has OCD. It doesn't have to manifest itself in precision - just obsession and an insistence that a job has to be done no matter what (like when my prat of a son decided he was still going to shave his head despite the blisters from his sunburn).
It takes a psychiatrist to diagnose that, though and it's not something you can just assume.
I know my dad was a bit like your friend, but he never appeared to have any mental health problems - just a very conscientious man who never liked to be idle. It used to annoy the c*** out of us at times, but there was nothing to be done.
If your friend doesn't see a problem, then there's not much you can do, I'm afraid. I think all you can do is be a good friend, give him practical help where you can and avoid asking him to do anything that might stress him out more - only make like you're not trying to 'help' him. If he smells a rat he'll probably stress even more.
It takes a psychiatrist to diagnose that, though and it's not something you can just assume.
I know my dad was a bit like your friend, but he never appeared to have any mental health problems - just a very conscientious man who never liked to be idle. It used to annoy the c*** out of us at times, but there was nothing to be done.
If your friend doesn't see a problem, then there's not much you can do, I'm afraid. I think all you can do is be a good friend, give him practical help where you can and avoid asking him to do anything that might stress him out more - only make like you're not trying to 'help' him. If he smells a rat he'll probably stress even more.
Some people just naturally thrive on doing things and keeping busy and being under pressure. It is telling that he keeps himself busy rather than just being overbusy due to the demands of others.
Maybe find something like an electronic diary to help him keep things in order or he could get a phone with a good calendar on it, my friends lives by his lol :)
I think the main worry would be if he is getting obsessive or neurotic about things and it is having a bad effect on him, he feels he can't control it etc...
If it's a problem for him, there are things that can help from things like Kalms to stronger prescription medication for more obsessive disorders.
Maybe find something like an electronic diary to help him keep things in order or he could get a phone with a good calendar on it, my friends lives by his lol :)
I think the main worry would be if he is getting obsessive or neurotic about things and it is having a bad effect on him, he feels he can't control it etc...
If it's a problem for him, there are things that can help from things like Kalms to stronger prescription medication for more obsessive disorders.
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