At what age were you most comfortable

[karmgirl]

with yourself, expressing your opinions, standing up for yourself, being confident etc?

[sleepyj]

about 34 ish .

[4getmenot]

22 ish. I guess from about 16 I could stick up for myself and had my own opinions on things but couldnt always walk into a group of even mates on my own

[roosi]

I still am bad at this, albeit learning fast, and find the more subtle changes you make daily ie little comments to people when you are displeased or not totally sattisfied, and certain looks - certain eye contact with people (I have found) can gain respect, and ideally confidence within yourself, but you have to percevere as I have not been doing this for only a few weeks as I kept "forgetting" to and people have started walking all over me again - as quickly as that! Expecially at work!

Am going to try and maintain, although it's hard when you are so not used to doing it!!

Good luck!!

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[wilmay]

Once I had divorced my first husband and became the person I was meant to be, mid thirties - and gathering pace with every passing year, as my long suffering second husband will vouch for :D

[karmgirl]

Yes I have this trouble roosi - its an effort to keep the act of confidence up when your not used to it or it doesn't come naturally x

[Doc.Spock.1]

When I was 2 and out of nappies.

[LoftyLottie]

Definitely in my late thirties/forties.

[Bbbananas]

Never been a shy or retiring sort - but I definitely felt more confident etc from my mid-thirties.

However the peak of my confidence & all the above, I have to say is round-about now. (mid-forties). But I think that's more to do with life experiences than anything.

It definitely gets easier the older you get. I don't take any sh1t from anyone now like I used to; probably because I care far less about what (most) people think of me.

[B00]

At 16- when I left home and got away from my overbearing mum.

[roosi]

Karmgirl, I have always been "the one" that lacked confidence, but was always the one that people came to to ask advice and such like......always the way - too like my mum she is exactly the same although my sister is complete opposite, and I am rather anvious of this as she always comes across as super confident.

I guess I will always struggle although I do try and now I am mid thirties, am getting there, btu when there is a power struggle at wk etc I find it awkward and would rather shy away than say anything!

It's not nice, and is quite demeaning sometimes as I never get to say how I feel, and if I do I tend to sound arrogant - which I am not! - but hey ho, short straw on this one I guess!!

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[annie0000]

27

[karmgirl]

Interesting to see the range of ages.

Roosi - I am totally the same when it comes to power struggles at work, people always have to have the last word etc., I just keep quiet and end up feeling demeaned. Really annoying - part of me feels like I should speak up but the other part of me can't be bothered with petty power struggles

[tigerlily11]

Between 22 and 37.
It all went tits up after that.

[Prangin]

whenever, i was born ready.

I was loving being 16 though.. my life was so easy and i ran my crewe... got layed so much, but a few years on these things are all so common to me.

[tigerlily11]

To talk to my son you wouldn't think 16 or 17 was easy.

[scotgal]

Karmgirl I don't know how old you are but several years ago I was driven to the point of suicide by a man at work which resulted in several years of counselling etc............now I couldn't give a toss. You're a long time dead.

[karmgirl]

What does that mean a long time dead?

Just been called the cats mother by my boss but not said anything about it. Just said charming. What does it mean anyway? I know its not nice

[roosi]

The cats mother is normally a phrase given when someone calls someone else "she" and I would then comment on it to say who's "she" - the cats mother?

It was maybe taken in that context eh??

If not, and they were calling you this, I would be asking why they said such a thing, as your right it's not nice to call someone that.

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[roosi]

Sorry just read that back doesn't make any sense at all, where I have put "she" I meant "her"............

Who's "her" - the cats mother? Meaning you just spoke of that person in a really derogatory way by calling the lady "her" and not her name. Same goes for a bloke.

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