Nearing the end

[auntwendy]

Are there any books anyone could recomend on how to deal with death. I have been told I have from 4-6 months left. I have read some buddhist books but feel I want something more focused on death as my time is limited and my head is still in a bit of a mess since I found out.

[gina32]

dont know any books but am sorry to hear about you

[auntwendy]

I have known for a few weeks now. I will see my daughter next week but I had a rather distressing phone call from her and I am very upset by it all. Thankyou all the same

[Bbbananas]

Just an aside - but are you the lady who posted a week or so ago - your daughter in south america on drugs charges? I remember you did not get a very sympathetic response at that time; the sceptics on here questioned your authenticity.

Believe me, there's a lot of sceptics on here! It's a wonder some of the replies didn't put you off posting again.

[auntwendy]

I did get a few people who were caring and considerate who gave me some kind words. The narrow minded people cant spoil it for everybody.

[Bbbananas]

Good, I'm glad it didn't put you off.

I have no books to recommend for you yet - but will do some investigating/research & hopefully come up with some suggestions for you.

So sorry wendy about your news; it must be devastating, I cannot imagine how you must be feeling right now. You don't have to answer this, tell me to mind my own business if you want; but is it cancer you're suffering with?

[yogasun]

On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is supposed to be a classic. I know a Bereavement Counsellor who always recommended it.
Sorry to hear the news.

[auntwendy]

Yes it is cancer. I have a tumour in my brain. The disturbing conversation I had with my daughter is that she thinks she is pregnant and she told me that the guards at the prison come into her room everynight. I dont really know what to think or do. Bolivia is so far away. At least I will see her for one last time next week.

[debbz1969]

Bless you auntwendy. You posted reply on my question earlier today 'something freaky'. And about my mum that passed nearly 6 years ago. I am so sorry about your news. I'm not familiar with the history with your daughter etc, but from what I can gather it's been a difficult time for you without this news. Do you have any other family around you? I truly hope so. I don't know of any books either, but I can send you love and prayers, and sincerely felt ones too. x x x

[auntwendy]

Thankyou so much debbz. I don't have familly around me no. My husband died years ago from a horrific road accident (which my daughter and myself witnessed). She had basically been locked away in a Bolivian jail for drug smuggling. She was forced into it by a gang of terrible people. It is the last time I will see her next week and I am so nervous. I want to be strong but I am scared all I will do is cry. I have tried meditating a few times but just end up crying. Thankyou for your kind words though I really do appreciate them.

[debbz1969]

All I want to do is come and give you a hug, and try and give you some strength to get through next week. Crying is not such a bad thing you know. It doesn't mean you are weak, it just means you have a good, selfless heart, no doubt you will be thinking more about your daughters feelings than your own battle. Cry together, talk, be completely honest with each other. Don't regret things you have done or said, just the things you haven't. Keep in touch x x

[jake-the-peg]

Unfortunately there are a number of people on here who invent fantastical tales to wind up others - so alas people tend to be a bit cynical.

You might be interested in Ivan Noble. He was the BBC web site's Science correspondant he had a malignant brain tumour and wrote an on-line diary of his struggle with it.

this is his last entry and links to the other ones

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4211475.stm

BTW I hope you've been in contact with the McMillian Nurses

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/

They are quite legendary at helping those with cancer - especially terminal cases

[foodluva]

I agree with Yogasun. When I was studying nursing psychology at uni, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was regarded as the expert on death, dying and bereavement. She is an expert in her field. Her book Death and Dying may help you to understand thoughts, emotions and the dying process.

Foodie x

[trt]

So sorry to hear of your illness auntwendy,

Maybe this will help.

ww.dharma-haven.org/five-havens/death.html - 24k

[trt]

Sorry should be,

www.dharma-haven.org/five-havens/death.html - 24k

[terambulan]

Try not to think of the time you may have but live each day setting yourself personal goals. Have you contacted the Brit High Commission here who can smooth your travel to Bolivia to see your daughter.

They can give you sound advice......please confide your worries of her welfare to them so that they can help her. You must keep strong for her.

[Cmitchell]

words cannot expres how you must be feeling right now. i've read the other advice on here, and am particularly inclined to agree with terambulan's advice about setting small achievable goals.

May I recommend any of Helen Steiner Rice's books of poems. Many many peoplehave found her words comforting in difficult times.

My prayers are with you both. C

[ummmm]

I'm so so sorry for you xxx

[Gormless]

Very best wishes to you. Have a read of Luke's gospel. What is written there really happened. It is very cheering.

[auntwendy]

It has really touched me with everyones kind words and support. My goal today is to research some of your suggestions and try keep some food down for a change. The tablets I am taking make me feel so sick in my stomache. I will call my daughter soon. She doesnt know about my condition at all I really dont know how to tell her. I will wait until I see her for one last time face to face. Thank you again everyone for all your kindness. I may go lie down for ten minutes my head hurts so much.

[smudge]

....Late in as usual, but to let you know how sorry I am to hear of the situation you find yourself in Wendy. It must be awful for you waking up each day knowing what the future holds....

I hope you manage to find the strength & can cope with telling your daughter. It will be one of the hardest things for you to do & for her to hear, but after lots of tears, cuddles & talking, I'm sure things will settle down & you will feel a great relief, if you understand what I mean.

Take care. -xx-