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Fostering
12 Answers
Does anyone have any experience of fostering or like to share any information with me about it?
We are going to look into it. I have seen alot of adverts for it recently and it is something I have thought about before. I have worked with young children for 13 years now and had one child of my own but am not financially able to afford anymore! I know that I have alot to offer and would love the chance to give a needy child a home for a short amount of time. My local social services dept have said it sounds like I would be ideally suited for pre adoption babies.
I would love to hear from people who have fostered themselves or know someone who has.
We are going to look into it. I have seen alot of adverts for it recently and it is something I have thought about before. I have worked with young children for 13 years now and had one child of my own but am not financially able to afford anymore! I know that I have alot to offer and would love the chance to give a needy child a home for a short amount of time. My local social services dept have said it sounds like I would be ideally suited for pre adoption babies.
I would love to hear from people who have fostered themselves or know someone who has.
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i work as child protection worker placing children.
Depends where you live as to what to expect from social workers. In ireland fostering is not as absolute as UK where it can lead to adoption. Giving a home to a child in need is full of rewards but not without drawbacks. It can be very disruptive to a family unit at times given the behaviour of children. Equally it can be hard to return children if you have developed a close bond. It is bound to cahllenge your view of parenting as you become aware of the reasons children are looked after eg abuse etc. It can be a challenge to speak positively to a child about their family when yoou witness the damage to the child. It is hard to accept that in spite of the childs past their family remain very important to them and their overall identity. Some children struuggle being in care and visits with parents are very emotional at times.
There is alo the fact you will have to deal with social services who help you parent the child . The down side is that thy are under resourced and have staffing gaps and changes so often you feeel you know more about the child but others make the decision.
In saying all that it is a rewarding role and you can help break the cyle of abuse for some children. Even wher you may not be able to fully help a child to know that you gave them a positive experience of a family for a while is a great gift. I wish you the best and be sure too have time out for yourself
Depends where you live as to what to expect from social workers. In ireland fostering is not as absolute as UK where it can lead to adoption. Giving a home to a child in need is full of rewards but not without drawbacks. It can be very disruptive to a family unit at times given the behaviour of children. Equally it can be hard to return children if you have developed a close bond. It is bound to cahllenge your view of parenting as you become aware of the reasons children are looked after eg abuse etc. It can be a challenge to speak positively to a child about their family when yoou witness the damage to the child. It is hard to accept that in spite of the childs past their family remain very important to them and their overall identity. Some children struuggle being in care and visits with parents are very emotional at times.
There is alo the fact you will have to deal with social services who help you parent the child . The down side is that thy are under resourced and have staffing gaps and changes so often you feeel you know more about the child but others make the decision.
In saying all that it is a rewarding role and you can help break the cyle of abuse for some children. Even wher you may not be able to fully help a child to know that you gave them a positive experience of a family for a while is a great gift. I wish you the best and be sure too have time out for yourself
I was fostered when I was younger and when I was older I sat on a fostering and adoption panel which approved foster carers.
When I was fostered I was a mess, I couldn't work out why my parents didn't love me and how anyone would ever love me if my parents couldn't even manage it. My foster carers looked after me but lacked when it came to listening and understanding. My foster dad told me to get over it as it happens to lots of people and happened to him. It didn't really help as its not easy to get on with your life living with strangers knowing no one cares. I would agree that it will be challenging, from my perspective I would say you need to be caring, understanding and able to just listen. Thats all I needed, I didn't need solutions I just needed someone to be there. It will take time for a child to settle with you, they have been taken away from their family and plonked in a home where they don't know anyone. Despite all the love you want to show them they may not be receptive at first but persevere and you will forever have someone who is so grateful (for the rest of their life) that one person was there and didn't turn their back. Good luck
When I was fostered I was a mess, I couldn't work out why my parents didn't love me and how anyone would ever love me if my parents couldn't even manage it. My foster carers looked after me but lacked when it came to listening and understanding. My foster dad told me to get over it as it happens to lots of people and happened to him. It didn't really help as its not easy to get on with your life living with strangers knowing no one cares. I would agree that it will be challenging, from my perspective I would say you need to be caring, understanding and able to just listen. Thats all I needed, I didn't need solutions I just needed someone to be there. It will take time for a child to settle with you, they have been taken away from their family and plonked in a home where they don't know anyone. Despite all the love you want to show them they may not be receptive at first but persevere and you will forever have someone who is so grateful (for the rest of their life) that one person was there and didn't turn their back. Good luck
CAJ1 your experience with foster carers sounds terrible! I know I would love a foster child to bits whether they showed me love back or not. I wouldn't be able to help myself! I know you wouldn't get the maternal bond you have with your own children but the child would be loved and cared for the same as my daughter. My big worry is how much it will break my heart when the child leaves but I guess this will get easier with experience.
Forgot to ask as well, in your opinion, how do the panel work out which level you would begin on? I have 13 yrs experience with babies and young children and am a fully qualified nursery nurse. Will this go towards it in my favour?
Has there been any cases you know of why people have been turned down to foster and if so why?
Sorry to quiz you so much!!
Has there been any cases you know of why people have been turned down to foster and if so why?
Sorry to quiz you so much!!
Hi tigwig
Its no bother, ask away! They weren't very good foster carers but I then went on to stay with someone who taught me how to look after myself (leaving care) and I'm still in contact with her and call her my mum and I do love her.
I'd say your experience would go in your favour. You tend to decide which age group you'd like to foster, its really up to you to be honest and decide what you can take on. Some people only have children for a weekend, others for certain days of the week and others full time. Some want children of a certain age others don't mind and will take on children of any age. There were a few people turned away when I sat on the panel but not many. Most people that apply have the childs best interests in mind. It was stupid things really like if someone wanted a young child but had a garden next to a road with no fencing around it then they were turned away until fencing was put up to make it safe. If there is someone in the close family with a criminal conviction it was looked into especially if it involved a child. None that I can think of were turned away because we thought they'd be incompetent. You didn't give the age of your own child but we always thought it was nice to have a child of a smimilar age to be placed with the family as having a baby and a teenager is quite a contrast and might cause problems ie. teenager not feeling they're getting enough attention etc and trying to gain attention through bad behaviour. We were given a document containing details of the family wanting to foster and got to read through it before the meeting. People wanting to foster/adopt were given a chance to come to the panel and discuss their family life, show photos of their home and talk about anything they wanted. This also gave us the chance to ask any questions we wanted too. From the sounds of it you'll make a great foster carer and I'm sure you'll make it through. Feel free to ask me anything you want to know!
Its no bother, ask away! They weren't very good foster carers but I then went on to stay with someone who taught me how to look after myself (leaving care) and I'm still in contact with her and call her my mum and I do love her.
I'd say your experience would go in your favour. You tend to decide which age group you'd like to foster, its really up to you to be honest and decide what you can take on. Some people only have children for a weekend, others for certain days of the week and others full time. Some want children of a certain age others don't mind and will take on children of any age. There were a few people turned away when I sat on the panel but not many. Most people that apply have the childs best interests in mind. It was stupid things really like if someone wanted a young child but had a garden next to a road with no fencing around it then they were turned away until fencing was put up to make it safe. If there is someone in the close family with a criminal conviction it was looked into especially if it involved a child. None that I can think of were turned away because we thought they'd be incompetent. You didn't give the age of your own child but we always thought it was nice to have a child of a smimilar age to be placed with the family as having a baby and a teenager is quite a contrast and might cause problems ie. teenager not feeling they're getting enough attention etc and trying to gain attention through bad behaviour. We were given a document containing details of the family wanting to foster and got to read through it before the meeting. People wanting to foster/adopt were given a chance to come to the panel and discuss their family life, show photos of their home and talk about anything they wanted. This also gave us the chance to ask any questions we wanted too. From the sounds of it you'll make a great foster carer and I'm sure you'll make it through. Feel free to ask me anything you want to know!
thank you so much for all that info! My daughter is almost 5 and I would love to foster a baby, full time.
The person I spoke to suggested pre adoption babies and told me I sounded suited to them and and it could be up to 2 yrs before the baby gets an adoption family.
To me this is a wonderful way of being able to 'have a baby of my own' sort of thing and at the same time know I would be giving the baby the best possible start in life.
I am so excited about it all and am eagerly awaiting my info pack to take it further!
The person I spoke to suggested pre adoption babies and told me I sounded suited to them and and it could be up to 2 yrs before the baby gets an adoption family.
To me this is a wonderful way of being able to 'have a baby of my own' sort of thing and at the same time know I would be giving the baby the best possible start in life.
I am so excited about it all and am eagerly awaiting my info pack to take it further!
Well I'm sure a 5 year old and a baby would get on well. It sounds like everyone is a winner then! I'm not sure I could do it, I'd feel sad watching them leave but proud as well for helping them. God less you tigwig, if only the bad parents didn't exist and you could afford more children of your own... the world would be a better place for more people like you
Well I'm sure a 5 year old and a baby would get on well. It sounds like everyone is a winner then! I'm not sure I could do it, I'd feel sad watching them leave but proud as well for helping them. God bless you tigwig, if only the bad parents didn't exist and you could afford more children of your own... the world would be a better place for more people like you
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