Being in love as opposed to loving someone

[Demongirlie]

Whats the difference, opinions people ?

[mallam]

If you're in a Christian culture, you're supposed to love everyone. Not an easy task, but a sight easier than being in love with everyone, and a sight less psychopathic, but the psychopathic state is a lot more fun!

[woofgang]

IMO being "in love" is a "self" situation. Its about how you feel, your emotions, hormones etcet. "In love" makes you blind to what the real person is like.
Loving someone is an "unself" situation about wanting the best for the beloved. You probably have a clear idea about what that person is like, faults and all and still you love them.

[happy_face]

I love my mum but i'm certainly not in love with her.

I would defend her with my life but I do not get butterflies in my stomach when I see her nor do I get the urge to snog her like I do when I see my boyfriend.

Does that help?

[mallam]

It jolly well should happy_f!

Haven't wefree who have answered this done well!

[Demongirlie]

great answers everyone, thanks for the feedback!

what others have told me is that loving someone isnt as great as being in love. somehow theres a huge difference? Is being in love, what you are at the beginning of a relationship ?

[evedawn]

I don't know but we need to remember that love is a verb and that a verb is a "doing word" (if I recall my schooldays correctly). It means that if you love someone you show it, by doing the acts and deeds that prove it. It's more than how you "feel" about the person. It's really about knowing the person you love and acting in their lives and passions by sowing them... hard to explain....but for me that's it

[evedawn]

TYPO - last line should read sHowing them (not "sowing " 'em - but sowing yer oats is a big part of it haha)

[goldilocks77]

i would say it can be easy to love someone, we love our friends to an extent. being in love with someone is beyond that, i found it usually happens later on in a relationship when the person becomes your lover, best friend, equal partner. is is a complete giving of yourself. that sounds way too slushy doesnt it. why the question? it is a good one

[Demongirlie]

Well goldilocks, my experience has been that I've always loved my partners but never been in love with them. apparently my girlfriends tell me theres a huge difference!

[mallam]

Too right, theres a huge difference, Demon G! I personally have always likened it to the difference between a fart and a nuclear explosion, and likewise the difference between sex without love and sex with. But no dount that is just what kempie calls my florid language. You may find some entertainment value in our exchange about this:
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/AB-Suggestions/ Question720801-2.html

And yes, I think it is generally agreed that being in love is what you are at (or somewhere near) the beginning of a relationship. It inevitably settles down, and if it settles down to 'storgic' love you are doing as well as can reasonably be expected!

If you haven't experienced it yet (and you may well have done, but not be so 'florid' as your girlfriends) you will know when you do! As St Augustine said, "Da amantem et scit quod dico" (Give me someone who loves, and he will know what Im talking about!)

lol, eve. A bit of a Freudian slip, what, what? But you are right, of course.