Depression

[Col]

When do you know that you really have depression?  Everyone feels low at some points of their life however at the moment I feel unable to raise my spirit for anything due to pressures at work and feeling like my life is at a crossroad in general.  I feel that the things that once gave me pleasure in my life I have outgrown or don't enjoy anymore and have little enthusiam of energy for my family as I am overworked and under pressure in a new job.  I feel that I am intelligent enough to deal with my own mental state but am being deluged by a general sinking feeling and think about my own status etc. and wonder whether this is all I will amount to.

[jenky]

Being intelligent enough to deal with your mental state is not so important. The thing here is to be brave enough to seek help if you think that it would help. With 1 in 4 people suffering some sort of mental illness, you would hope that the social stigma would have lifted. I'm not trying to preach to you personally, I just hope that anyone who thought they might be suffering unnecessarily and in silence, would feel comfortable asking for help. Best of luck with it all, be it depression, or a low week or whatever.... and try not to get angry with those people that say.."cheer up, it might never happen!"

[cheyenne]

Talking to people always helps.seek profesional advice.they wont bite your head of!!once you get use to your new job the pressure will lift.I sometimes get tired of doing the same things,even going on the answerbank,but after a few days i cant get enough of it.Also this time of year with the winter drawing in and xmas just around the corner theres a little more pressure.your not alone!!talk to someone.things always change,children grow up.family life will change,try to look forward to something that will cheer you up in the future.good luck,and i mean it.

[krissy04]

Col...I Have been suffering from depression for the last year of my life, and recently got out of it..and the answer to your first Q...i dont know if i can answer that...sure we get tired and hate life, and hate everything that used to amuse us and make us laugh..Like Vinny100 said,"once you get use to your new job the pressure will lift." And he/she is right..i used to hate everything, well in my case it was because of school, and now that im out of school, my life is different..and ive learned to do what makes 'ME' happy...i would always do whatever i could to make other people happy..totally disregarding myself. Col, also dont be afraid to talk to other people about your problems, because there are soo many people out there who care about you, and would take the time to listen to your problems. Thats another thing that got me out of my depression... I thought i could handle it myself, then it got really bad...then one day i just started being open with it..and then i realized that i had so many people who cared about me...and now im happy! :)...and you can be to...and Col you can amout to anything u want to...if you have high goals, you can reach them, anyone can! So i hope this helps you out! I know i can ramble on about nothing from time to time...but i really do hope everything is ok with you, because i know how it feels, and i also know how it feel to be happy...and happy is where i want u to be! :) X X keep us posted on how things work out Col.. X X

ps..the people on AB are also great friends! :)

[CHOPS'R'US]

Hey col, we all have these low points hun, it's the way that life is unfortuntely but think of this way 'God will never throw anything at you that he doesn't think you can handle!' Maybe sit back have sometime out to yourself that's what i do when i'm unhappy with myself or my life at that point, i go out my way to have a walk for a good couple of hours down the canal on my own or with my dog and have a really good think at what i have right now and what is important to me. Afterall life is here to experience not to get too stressed about these days it's not worth it even if you feel at your lowest just remember you are not the only one! If you feel like this doesn't help choose a really good mate who you know will listen and pour all your rubbish out, you know what they say a problem shared is a problem halved and all...If you don't have anyone that you feel like you can turn to try the samaritans or such like they are always there to help and donj't make any judgements. Good luck col and i hope everything works out for you hun..

[andy hughes]

From what you say, you are exhibiting classic  symptoms of depression. Part of the problem with this condition is its label. People think 'having depression' is the same as 'being depressed' which it most certainly is not. If one is spraining your ankle, the other is having your foot amputated without aneasthetic! Over-dramatic? Not at all - I had a complete breakdown fifteen years ago so I do know what I'm talking about. The major problem is British culture, the 'pull yourself together' attitude we are all brought up with. the fact is, you have an illness, the same as migraine, flu, arthritis, and you need to get medical treatment. Speak to your GP who can put you on some mild anti-depressants to get you over this time. Do not ignore this - it will not go away, it will get worse, so get help - it's nothing to be ashamed of. Healing yourself is an admirable sentiment, but in the same way as you cannot win the Tour De France without a bike, not matter how fit you are, you need some assistance to help your mind during this period. Stay in touch, we are all here to help.

[El D]

imagine you are not depressed, and it will be so. quite simple really, just takes immense mental conditioning.

[moosa]

Cures: try something new, if a new oppertunity arrises take a chance and go for it, don't let anybody in your life hold you back as i have found out recently, it may upset somebody but if you fell you have to do something do it and they will come to terms with it and if you explain they should understand that its just something you have to do, pull out all the stops and make sure you do something you really enjoy regularly, meet up with some old friends, make some new friends...etc etc...i could waffle on for hours!

[zgma]

Hi Col, I'm sorry you're feeling depressed.  It's hard to answer when you are "clinically depressed" - I agree that you should see your GP, and/or see a therapist.

 

I have on and off been depressed, and I will tell you a little about my experience.  Usually I am a fairly happy, positive person.  After my son was born, I just was not happy at all.  I kept thinking I would be happier if only X would happen (X being any number of things - I had more free time, my son would sleep more, I would go back to work, I would be able to not work, etc).  But then X would happen, and I wouldn't be any happier.  I would cry for no reason, and not know why I was crying.  I had a hard time enjoying and appreciating my son because I thought what I wanted was time to myself, and he (as every infant is) was so demanding of my time.  I had my husband take over more and more of the baby-care, but didn't feel any less overwhelmed.

 

After an entire year (during which people would tell me they thought I was depressed and I would deny it) I finally realized that I had post-partum depression.  I don't really know why I denied it before - probably it was because having depression meant not adjusting well, not doing something perfectly, and I am a big old perfectionist.  What made me realize it was realizing that I was manufacturing reasons for being unhappy - and that I didn't know the real reasons.

 

I started seeing a therapist.  It really helped pull me out of it, just to have someone to talk to who had experience with other people with depression.  I highly recommend talk therapy, but like Andy said, anti-depressants may be in order too.  You talk about being "intelligent enough" etc... don't think about it that way.  Depression has a very physical, hormonal aspect that sometimes can't be reasoned away.

[mullein]

if you are not on any prescribed medication then take st johns wort tablets from health shop ..i know of someone that has seriouse depression and they threw away the doctors prescribed medicine as it can get addictive and started on st john wort give it a week to kick in and see how you go if after 2 weeks you still feel the same then by all means go to the doctor...also try chamomile tea ....mullein

[tarzan]

That could be me talking. I often feel like this. It sounds like a lack of confidence about your abilities which are probably alright. On Monday morning I felt like this as I was snowed under and felt that I was unable to cope or deal with the amount of work. I decided to tackle each task one at a time and not worry about the outcome. Result was all tasks completed and all done okay which amounted to happiness. Try and plan plenty of things leisure wise which will take your mind off your problems.

[Yinzer]

Depression can come in varying degrees and periods of time. Whatever pressures there are at work will come and go, and perhaps you ARE at a crossroads. Everyone has different points in their lives when they need to evaluate where they have been and where thay plan to go. Even if you don't get the same pleasure from things you once loved, don't quit doing them. Keep active and social even if you don't exactly feel like it because the worst thing is to stagnate and be lonely. As far as not having energy for your family do you feel that they are behind you anyway? Or perhaps some friends? Also remember what's important. Your job title means nothing about who you are. Nor does your income or how many friends you have. It's what you do with what you've got that matters. And if you feel that you aren't doing well in that respect, then you still needn't frown upon yourself because there is always the opportunity to change. Just take it easy on yourself and try to make some positive changes in your life. If you find that you just don't seem to be able to do that, then you may want to seek professional help. No shame in that. As far as what you will amount to, the possibility to amount to bigger and better things is there even when you're retired! Perhaps you'll never be the CEO making millions of dollars, but there are many other ways to fulfill your true potential as long as you're willing to do the footwork. One thing that always helps me is to make a mental list of all of the things that are good in my life - all the things I have to be grateful for - and (OK, two things) be selfish for a day, and take some time and spending money for myself and go do whatever I darn well feel like doing regardless of how anyone around me will feel. Remember to 'fill your cup', best wishes, keep your chin up!