Love

[lostforever]

I am a man, I am intelligent, I am a person, I am kind, I am patient, I am loving.
I am cold, I am calculating, I am a liar, I am selfish, I am a person, I am emotional.
What follows no-one will ever know or suspect, it is secret and hidden and more to the point, I am normal, adjusted, strong, and in control.
When I am alone, and unfortunately, although rarely, when I am not, -
I feel the feeling, welling up like a warm ocean, pushing up through me towards the back of my eyes just waiting to spill out like a wave of shimmering mist. Music, emotion, a memory, it's as if these things lower a hook deep inside and pull out from those depths the most beautiful thing ever felt, and then I cry, or fight back the tears.
Tears of emotion not sadness. Emotion for everything, everything beautiful, which is everything.
For a brief moment, emotion for this existence rules me, and then it is gone. I'm left cold, just wishing for it again, nothing else matters. I know it will come again, I can feel the beginning and then it flows, like a drug, why can I not feel this all the time? I'm shattered, broken, like a cracked vase remaining in one piece, whole but not whole.
I'm not a writer, I'm not a poet. I am an artist, and a day dreamer. Perhaps the most emotional day dreamer in existence based on what I can see, which isn't a lot. This is a call to all who may read this. Are we all the same? Does this happen to you?

[cazzz1975]

I am fine when I am alone, I am a very practical person. maybe you need to find a hobby to relieve you of your negative feelings.

[mccfluff]

no

[sn�gs]

Are you Leonard Cohen in disguise?

[b00bs]

sometimes,but not in the depth`s you experience.

[SuDFB]

that was beautiful...

[gonzo00]

lol..you're gonna have to stop taking those e's when you're alone! you're supposed to take them when you're clubbing mate!

[Ice.Maiden]

Is your name Derek? Are you Scottish????

[Razzle09]

Is it possible you are suffering from depression. The writer Anthony Storr talked about the 'Divine Discontent' which is often associated with artists...

Perhaps it is just part of the extential condition...

Does not sound as if it is too much of a problem for you thought....X

[pastafreak]

What you have written is very emotive...and I for one would want to know more.

I was going to say that we all may have such feelings from time to time...and to a lesser or greater extant. But going by the other comments....maybe it is a minority opinion.

[tamborine]

Sounds good in Am/G7/F/C. Upload to Utube & give link.

[Ice.Maiden]

Oh. It's NOT Derek then......
: (

[ELVIS68]

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

[pinktwink]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQQ6SfPZggw

[pastafreak]

Perfect, Elvis!!

[GroulaH]

I have edited this for you and am sure you will appreciate this....

I am a man, I am intelligent, I am a person, I am kind, I am patient, I am loving.
I am cold, I am calculating, I am a liar, I am selfish, I am a person, I am emotional no one knows i am a killer.
What follows no-one will ever know or suspect, it is secret and hidden and more to the point, I am normal, adjusted, strong, and in control as all serial killers are.
When I am alone, and unfortunately, although rarely, when I am not i can feel the murder squad hunting me down like the dog i am.
I feel the feeling, all that blood welling up like a warm ocean, pushing up through me towards the back of my eyes just waiting to spill out like a wave of shimmering mist. Music, emotion, a memory, it's as if these things lower a hook deep inside and pull out from those depths the most beautiful thing ever felt, and then I cry, or fight back the tears as i know i have to kill again and again.
Tears of emotion not sadness. Emotion for everything, everything beautiful, which is everything except my hellbound soul.
For a brief moment, emotion for this existence rules me, and then it is gone only temporarly and I'm left cold, just wishing for the slaughter again, nothing else matters. I know it will come again, I can feel the beginning and then it flows, like a drug, why can I not feel this all the time? I'm shattered, broken, like a cracked vase remaining in one piece, whole but not whole till i dismember again and then the feeling of sweet solitude is almost orgasmic....almost pure solitude.....
I'm not a writer, I'm not a poet. I am an artist, a painter in blood and human bodily fluids and the street floor is my canvas. Am i a day dreamer ? Perhaps the most emotional day dreamer in existence based on what I can see, which isn't a lot. This is a call to all who may read this. Are we all the same? Does this happen to you? Am i as sane as i think i am ?

[whiskeryron]

lostforever
when you get these beautiful emotions & you start to well up let the tears flow, there's nothing wrong with a man weeping, I wish that more men would give way to their emotions, I feel that the world would be a better place if they did. Ignore the moronic answers that some folks are giving you & only take on board those positive ones, I'm a so called normal man & I'm on your side mate.

[Booldawg]

bi-polar?

[Fiona138]

You're amazing - know exactly what you mean!