hmm divorce??

[sunflower68]

I am just looking for a bit of advice from abers who may or may not have experienced this.

I will have been separated from my ex 2 years in November and I believe that means a free divorce.

I get on great with him; we both have nice partners now and I don't and I don't think he wants to remarry.

Should we just divorce for the sake of closure or stay married? I want to keep my married name but would I then be a 'miss'?

Any experience on this gratefully received thanks!

[redcrx]

no such thing as a free divorce.

There will always be costs to pay. Depending on whether there are any financial settlements to pay or not it can just cost a few hundred pounds and you can do the paperwork yourselves.

and once divorced you can use your married name and be Miss, Ms or Mrs, it makes no difference

[Bbbananas]

No particular advice for you sunflower - just to say I am in a very similar position.

I split with my husband (for the 2nd time) over 4 years ago now. We have not divorced. We also have a very amicable relationship, have 4 kids between us - my 2 and his 2. I doubt either of us will want to get married again. I am in a new relationship - not too serious but has lasted over 2 years. I'm happy with this because we live apart and I still feel I have my freedom & independence.

My ex lives alone and also loves it! He's not interested in any relationship other than one-night stands from what I can make out!

I don't want full closure for the sake of our children (even though they are now adults of 24, 25, 26 & 27). By divorcing their father I somehow feel (maybe stupidly) that I am divorcing them too - by putting a final legal end to our married relationship. (I don't think the kids themselves are bothered either way though - it's us!!).

It doesn't seem to bother my present BF I am not divorced - I think he knows I am not likely to want marriage to him & probably likes it that way anyway. He's my age (47) but has never been married & doubt he wants to now.

I must admit, I do think in the future it is more likely to be I who instigates divorce, and I must admit if he did, there would be a part of me that would feel sad - even though I know we will always be 'friends' at the very least.

So _ i fully understand your dilemma. All I would say is - do whatever feels right. There is no right or wrong thing to do. You may well find either your new partner or his might put the pressure on one day for you to divorce - cross that bridge when it comes to it.

[PurpleParis]

Redcrx is right there is no such thing as a free divorce, i divorced my husband after being apart over two years it still cost over �300 but we shared the cost between us, you then have to pay another �30 to get your decree absolute, six weeks and a day after the decree nisi.
I went back to my maiden name, as my husband went on to marry another woman with the same first name....so i didnt want to have the same name as her!
How old are your children? This may affect your decision as to whether to go through with it and what to call yourself after the divorce, if you do go ahead.
Salla is right....go with your instinct...do it....dont do it....up to you in the end.

[weeal]

Well it only cost me �68 to have him sign the papers so why isnt it free?

[weeal]

No point in staying married tho really.

[sunflower68]

Thanks all. To be honest if that is the cost I may leave it till I am a bit richer!! I think the kids would be ok with divorce; they associate it with the whole separation thing and my kids are so much tougher than I could ever have imagined.
I think it is for my independence I want the divorce really; knowing I can do this alone. Oh well it will have to wait! ; )