I don't want to have this sex

[bruce-lucie]

Does anyone understand what leads people to have sex when they don't want to, but at the same time are not pushed into it, if anything i push them into it...?

[Greedyfly]

que?

[Yinzer]

Not only are people afraid of rejection, but many are also afraid to reject others. Lots of people are just too meek to be able to really speak up when it counts (sex, being made fun of at school, wrongful persecution etcetera).

What do you mean YOU push them into it?

[Octavius]

Alcohol...?

[ICEMANSAV]

Your female they are male question answered.

[Octavius]

Ah, the old male playing hard to get trick....

[tartanwiz]

If somebody has sex without being pushed into it, they DO want it, even if they say or think they don't.

[RainbowBoy]

no I do not understand people who dont want to have sex

[bruce-lucie]

to yinzer, i encourage them, like at the start of a relationship its like i feel we have to have sex else they dont like me, or they dont "want" me. But then that doesn't always happen, because on the other hand someone wants me, even if i know its for sex, i give it to them, and then think hey wait a second, a) i really didn't want that, i'm not attracted to them and don't know them & b) i think it's wrong. or i am really hurt because i wanted more but just wanted to please them. Thankyou everyone for any feedback

[Yinzer]

You know, actually holding out until a bit later in the relationship actually yields more respect from them. And for the ones who actually do have a problem with that, then you know they're no good and you can tell them to beat it.
Putting out easily ensures that you will always be taken advantage of, and they will play on your insecurities.
Maybe try spending less time with them in private places like at home or where ever, and just spend time out and about, or with friends until you get to know him more and see if you really even like him.
I used to have a similar problem. I thought this one guy was so cool, and the only way I'd get to spend time with him was if sex would come of it.
Well, eventually I learned... and you will too.
Cheers!

[bruce-lucie]

Thankyou yinzer! That is very good advice!