Modern mum

[Sqad]

Mrs sqad's friend has just been on the phone saying that she had had the grandchildren over the weekend and they were a nightmare and that she would never have them again.

Naughty disobedient and rude.

Now 40 yrs ago, that problem would have been solved by a well aimed slap over the leg or bottom, but today this is abuse, so my question is......."How do you deal with 3 naughty and unruly children without smacking them.

Please, no replies about violence breads violence.

Simple answer to a simple question.....how would you deal with them?

[Eve]

Difficult for me to say as I' m not a parent but I would probably give them a choice, behave and have a good time, don't behave and they will not have a fun weekend with a chance to repent so to speak if they don't get the message the first time.

Could go wrong and have the weekend from hell but it would probably then be mutual not wanting to repeat it.

[karenmac60]

I sometimes find I have this problem with my daughter - she's never rude or anything, but if I try to get her to tidy her room or help out in the house and she lies and says she's doing it then I go up and it's a tip. It ends up going on for days and I have tried everything in the book - grounding her, taking things away from her, bribing her, shouting, pleading crying - everything except lifting a hand to her, and nothing works. The first time I threatened to take her TV away she sat and thought about it and said 'I'll miss having a telly'!!! In my day I'd have got a leathering but now you're made to feel that you are a bad parent or worse for even thinking about hitting your child. And if you have a child who will not respond to threats or care if they are 'punished' you get the blame as the mother for not disciplining your child. It's not bloody easy

[whiskeryron]

Isn't it time we got back to basics, disipline has been outlawed in schools & at home & what in heavens name are we rearing in this country? I am old enough to remember judjes & magistrates dealing out sentences of corporal punishment for extreme bad behaviour until we joined the europian community & now we are told how to behave,but there is no control over bad behaviour. Let me draw your attention to animals in the wild,if a lion or tiger cub misbehaves they get a cuff from mom or dad & told(growled) to behave & it always works for them.

[lilacben]

Squd todays children have it so easy for them. no smacking,police can't give them a clip round the ear, teachers cannot touch them. What next!! The whole world has turned stupid and what will the futher hold for these dear little things.! I have seven grandchildren and I am afraid if they are in my house then they go by my rules. One of my grandsons gives me the evil eye and I could slap him but he knows his mum will not do anything, I find it so hard not to give him slap sometimes. He is 9 and I am afraid he will get worse over the next 7 years. Something has to be done to stop them.I was terrified of getting a smack from my mum, as I think we all was when children. It never did me any harm.

[lil123]

Go for common ground I think.
I work with 16-19 year olds that have often gone off the rails. I usually find some way of communicating on a common ground such as music or trying to engage them in an activity they might enjoy like cooking etc.
A reward for good behavior often works with my small son and I try and focus on the good rather than the bad but when he is naughty I put him in his room until he can say sorry and behave again.
It's not easy at all though like you say a good smack when we were small was what did it but now that's not acceptable.

[cazzz1975]

the family next door are big believers in smacking, If I sit in the back garden for an hour I hear the threats, then the smack, almost constantly, the kids are still misbehaving, they are still unruly, despite being smacked, the mom often goes on holiday on her own to have a break from the chaos, what would you suggest they do sqad?

they are smacked throughout the day for various reason, shouting is constant

[Bbbananas]

Is this Godzilla sqad?
Maybe she's the problem, not the grandkids?!!! Sounds like a scary mary to me, the way you described her.. maybe the kids are just frightened out of their wits.

Lock them in their bedroom I say. Without their supper.

[LoftyLottie]

Totally agree with cazz. All kids I know who are smacked regularly become immune to it in time and still misbehave. And they are the usually the ones who hit out at others at school etc. Shouting and smacking just don't work and I don't think that kids should be afraid of their parents anyway. It doesn't,make them respectful at all.