thanks to all who responded to my question on fri about contacting my horrible ex!!

[baggysenior]

you're all right. i'm just an ultra sensitive person with low self esteem. I know he won't be beating himself up thinking about me. I've just got to concentrate on the bad sides i saw in him. i think us ending so abruptly is my biggest problem, i'm left thinking errr what on earth happened there. anyhow i am, believe it or not moving on but my heart still aches. it was never meant to be i guess. Mum always says whats meant for you wont pass you by.I'm a nice person (i think!) in a vunerable place thats why i get hurt so easily. thanks as always guys and gals for being so nice to me :-)

[grasscarp]

I was "dumped" abruptly years ago by my first ever proper boyfriend. I was very upset at the time. Went on to have another awful relationship that lasted seven years. That ended (it should never have began) and then met my husband. You have to weather the awful sadness and hurt at the time and eventually you find the right person. Years later the first one who dumped me wanted me back, but I took one look at him and thanked my lucky stars that we have never stayed together (seems like nobody else wanted him either!).

[tamborine]

The best thing about an Ex is you can now have an 'affair' with him while he's wed to your usurper......oooooooooh - that's revenge!

[Dunloptyre]

tamborine why would she want to do that she will just get hurt again.dignify yourself babbysenior and treat him with the contempt he deserves.i hope you start to feel better soon sweetie.

what a usurper?

[tamborine]

in time.....when the scars heal. baggysenior still has affection for the 'gimp' and revenge is sweet.

[tamborine]

usurper = Camilla PB

[Dunloptyre]

still none the wiser tamborine but then i`m not on a ladies level Lol.

[cazzz1975]

what goes around, comes around tamborine, why cause hurt for petty revenge??, the most damaging thing she could do to him is to move on from him and be happy, that would upset him more than any revenge.

stay strong baggy, you deserve to be happy and life is a long twisty path filled with obsticles, take the experiences that you have learnt and apply them to finding a guy who does not belittle you or try to keep your self esteem low in order to control you.

[baggysenior]

you are all so supportive. Theres just one question i would like to ask(its been bugging me) why did he refuse my calls on the night in question? isn't that rude and immature for a 40 year old man? it helps me to remember that and think, you horrible man. I don't seek revenge but i hope one day i'm in a position to say 'your loss mate'
once again Thanks 2 everyone who answers my questions.x

[cazzz1975]

I would guess he wants to "punish" you by refusing your calls. or/and also, men are not good talkers about their feelings. He seems quite controlling so his motives would probably be more for the former

[baggysenior]

thanks goodbye girl. i can honestly say the no contact rule has been one of the hardest things i have ever done, basically because i still have strong feelings for him. i can't believe i have done it. i am proud of myself for that. I feel a great deal of dignity (i can see it now)because i haven't begged to see or speak to him, although its been VERY hard when i've had a few vinos! ;-) i really do hope that i get my day,and he contacts me, but most importantly i hope i have the strength to say 'your loss'at that time ,that will be the true test of my strength. I know not all men are like this, so i hope that one day i find a man who is my equal and treats me like i would treat him, with love, trust and respect. I think i'm over the worst of it now, for him, well i think he'll be realising now yes she really meant what she said,she's not going to chase me, and without sounding horrible, i hope it hurts him and teaches him that women cannot be walked all over x

[grasscarp]

Congratulations baggy. We are all proud of you.