billy no mates!

[marchantino]

any ideas on making friends?i am fairly new to an area and have joined a friendship club thingie,but at the moment i cant afford to go to any of their events(as its christmas) i have great difficulty trusting people as i have been hurt badly by friends in the past.i am a nice person but fear rejection.i have some good work colleagues but dont feel i can encroach on anyones social circle.lots of interest groups are very clique-y,i have found.i am NOT looking for love,just a few mates.can anyone help?many thanks in advance :0)

[Hippy]

Having a common interest with people can be a good start. It might be that you have an interest in photography, fell walking, archaeology, swimming, a particular brand of music, scrabble, chess, athletics, etc. etc. Have a look in your local paper or library for groups or meeting nights for people with similar interests.

 

If you go along you will no doubt get the welcome new person routine, "Hey look everyone, here's Marchantino, let's make him really welcome!" cringe cringe. Try to spot someone on their own and go for a natter. They are least likely to reject your advance, and even if they turn out to be smelly or obseessive or awful in some other way, they will at least give you some gossip about the group, and your experience with Ronnie Reject will give you something to laugh about with the others and break the ice.

 

Go out, have fun and enjoy. Life is not a rehearsal.

.

[kaz35]

What about evening classes?  You'll then meet people with common interests.  Also, I used to work with a women who joined a dating agency for professional people (you don't say what you do for a living) - this would also help you meet new people with a similar outlook on life.  I know you said you're not looking for love, nor was she, she used the agency for socialising at group functions, met loads of new people and had a ball!  Gave her a whole new group of friends.  You could also try getting in touch with old friends, Friends Reunited, for example:- http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/

Hope these suggestions help xx :)

[marchantino]

thankyou guys! my confidence feels a bit more boosted now an im gonna get out there and look! ;0)

[kestrel]

Everybody is a stranger until you get to know them. You have recognised a problem in your life and you want to do something about it. Firstly identify what you are really passionate about, the number one thing. Then make contact with like minded people, you could even find an associated web site on the internet. Remember that making friends is like a handshake you 'extend your hand in friendship' and you will find that the vast majority of people will grasp it. You will find that as you get use to the new area you are in your confidence will improve and you will find that people will respond to that, best of luck. PS Dont let the past affect the friends you will make in the future because we are all individuals.