please help...

[ChocolatChip]

I feel so stress, anxious and depressed.
I am getting married in 3 months time and at the moment working on a flat. Most of which my parents are paying for (I don't have a job as I am at uni, and the work load is too much).
Although they agreed to this, they are making me feel guilty and I feel it's ruining everything for me, I'm too upset to get excited about the wedding, and I feel that the guilt is a constant weight on my back. I've become stuck. I feel like cancelling, but too much has been paid for to back out now.
I love my partner dearly, and I do want to marry him, but the sadness is destroying me.
please help.

[B00]

Guilty about what? The fact they're paying?

Honestly, swallow your self pity, plaster a smile on your face, let their words drift in one ear and out the other, and just be bloody grateful they're doing this for you.

[ChocolatChip]

Yes, the fact that they're paying.
I am exceptionally grateful for them paying. Although they said that they were paying regardless.

[boxtops]

You are so lucky, Chochip, that you have parents who care enough (and can presumably afford it) to set you and yoru fiancé up with a flat. Why are they making you feel guilty, do they keep going on about it? Please be assured that many of us got all sorts of emotions in the weeks running up to our weddings - your wedding is for you and your partner, keep that in the front of your mind. How are the wedding plans going? Can you concentrate on that and making a great day for you both, and not worry so much about the flat?

[standian]

What has been paid for that can't be refunded or used as a "credit note" towards a later date - maybe you could do some investigation to see how much money, if any, would actually be lost and take some control back over the situation that way.

If it's not the right time to get married, then don't do it - there is always the danger that this will blight your eventual marriage and it will be doomed, in which case the money will be wasted anyway. And if this affecting your time at uni and so potentially your eventual degree, then that's more wasted money.

Maybe getting married while at uni and with no income wasn't the best idea in the first place. Personally I would only get married when my partner and I could afford it ourselves so that we were totally in control of it and not subject to the stress of spending other people's money and trying to meet their expectations and ideals.

Good luck

[madmaggot]

Stop wingeing and start thanking your lucky stars that you are getting such a start to your married life!
I started my marriage with a delapidated terraced house that we were trying to renovate as the money became available, and the only furniture we had was a 2nd hand table and 4 chairs! But we felt lucky because we didn't have to live with parents.

[Androcles]

Why are you getting warried whilst you are at university and with no job? What's the rush? Stop and think!