Affairs

[Scarlett]

What would you say to a friend (male) who is having sex with (but not a relationship with) a girl who is already in a relationship of 8 years? The girl lives with her long-term boyfriend. This has gone on for nearly a year.

[jackthehat]

Is it necessary to say anything at all.............?

[boxtops]

I'd butt out. Sounds complicated if the girl is in a long-term relationship but is having sex with your friend on the side. I wouldn't get involved.

[sara3]

you don't have to pretend you approve, but you're still supposed to support your friend.

[China Doll]

I wouldn't make it my business (unless it looked like it was causing my friend damage) although I wouldn't exactly be turning cartwheels about it either.

[society]

I would stay out, don't see it as my business.
It's probably just a sex affair with no attachments.

[bednobs]

have to agree - i would say nothing

[snags]

I'd keep schtum... nothing to do with me...

[ladyalex]

Say nothing.
Not sure I'd want to be all that friendly with him , though.......he's not exactly a gentleman.

[brenda]

Say nothing , none of your business.

[Seadragon]

If that male friend told me without me finding out any other way, I would tell him that he may think sex and relationships are separate but if he ever did start getting 'attached' in any way to the girl then he will more than likely end up as one big emotional mess, the situation may become complicated and there may be alot of heartbreak. This scenario may not arise as such but why put yourself in that possible position in the first place? Then I would tell him not to confide in me anymore as I am not into clearing up a self-created mess.

[jno]

You can't necessarily avoid such subjects completely when talking to friends. I suppose you might consider how you'd address it if your friend was a female having an affair with a married man. You might consider, for instance, that he was doing nothing wrong; it's the woman who's being unfaithful. Personally, I wouldn't raise the subject myself; if he does so, then you can just say 'no comment' if you'd rather not go into it. Or you can tell him what you think. You're the one in the best position to know if he'll humbly take your advice, or tell you to take a hike, or just shrug it off.

[smartie733]

To be honest I dont think anything you ay would make a difference. I'm sure your friend has thought about what he is doing and if he has done it for a year he clearly doesnt want to end it and prob just tries not to think about fact she is with someone.

[joannie10]

i was shocked recently to find out a married female friend is having a 'fling' with a younger guy who is in a relationship. Funnily enough she had got out of me my opinion on this before hitting me with the bombshell! I still told her what I thought but really I now wont discuss it with her any further. I feel bad for her husband but my opinion on her has changed - I feel she will do whatever she wants regardless of what I tell her so not even going to talk about it now. I am pretty certain it will have an unhappy ending!

[IggyB]

"nice work - all the sex and none of the hard work... if you can live with your conscience and the constant threat of getting a kicking from her boyfriend then enjoy"

[Scarlett]

Thanks all. It is difficult to not say anything at all since he is my best mate and we do talk about everything, all the time. But I think the best solution is to not get involved.