What do you make of this?

[Calvados]

My wife has a friend who she visits 2 or 3 times a year. Her friend has a 13 yr old son who'll be 14 in August. He's a really big lad growing up fast. In fact he's just bought an electric razor, so you see what I mean! However, his mother still baths him, puts his pyjamas on him and puts him to bed. I would have thought this would be embarrassing for him, but this happens every night. At least it does when my wife stays there. Why does his mother insist on doing this? My wife daren't say anything as she doesn't think it's her place to but surely this can't be right can it? I would have thought his mother might be embarrassed too but apparrently not. Why can't she leave him to it now? What do you think?

[sara3]

I would be very surprised if that was going on.

[snags]

What do I think?

Damn odd.

[boxtops]

My view is that she's been doing this for at least six years too long. I would have been mortified if my parents had seen me in the bath past about age nine. She is growing BIG problems for him with looking after himself in later life - kids have to learn how to fend for themselves. Are they on their own together, does she depend on his needs overmuch?

[Calvados]

It does happen Sara, because my wifes' friend doesn't make a secret of it. When it's her sons bath time she says she's going to give him a bath. Honest.

She obviously sees nothing wrong but I don't know why.

[tamirra]

I certainly wouldnt bathe my son at that age, he is a big lad too, think its quite odd and not right at all.

[sara3]

I stopped bathing my kids when they were about 6 or 7, plenty old enough to know what to do.

my son (13) is mortified if I mention anything bathroom related, but still walks around showing his boxers to the world :o/

[NoMercy]

Does he still get bitty?

[boxtops]

It's a very sad reflection but if it was the dad bathing an 13-year-old daughter, people would probably think there might be a child protection issue. I do not suggest at all (believe me) that this is the case here, but I can't understand the son still letting her do it. Most boys his age don't wear pj's either! Is he unwell or anything like that?

[Calvados]

She does seem over-protective of him at times. He has a rare blood dis-order that has baffled specialist for years, and still does. They don't know why his blood behaves as it does. He is one of only 8 people in the world with this problem and none have them have been cured yet despite years of medical investigations. It may be that she wants to keep checking as her son might not be so forthcoming with anything about his condition. I don't know. Am I trying to make excuses for her?

[sara3]

it's not for you to be making excuses, but it's very odd behaviour. I'm surprised the father hasn't said something.

I have to say I'm with boxy.. it's not right.

[NoMercy]

If he were physically incapable of bathing and dressing himself, then that's not a problem. But if he's able bodied, then there's no excuse for treating him like a 5 year old.

[Mamyalynne]

Well if he has had a lot of ill health, that could explain her overprotection. However it is still not on to continue with this, if she needs to check for say bruising or rashes that could be done after he has bathed himself.

If she were my friend I would politely enquire why she does it and hope she understood.

M

[Calvados]

He's not physically incapable. He's quite your normal 13 yr old in many ways but he's not allowed to take part in contact sports.

I honestly think his mother is concerned about his condition and that is the root of it.

[AlBags]

Weird.

[lucca]

I think it's very odd. Being proective because of hishealth should not excuse this behaviour. Is there a dad around? Does the young man accept her behaviour - and expect it? Could your wife find a way to delicately ask what's going on e.g. sort-of jokey style? I would feel ultra uncomfortable if I saw this.

[lucca]

or even protective!

[Calvados]

He does seem to accept it. I've been trying to think of reasons why he would do so. And wonder why he lets it happen instead of just saying he doesn't want any help now thanks.

I honestly don't think there is anything improper going on, other than she baths him. Some will say that is improper behaviour enough where a 13 yr old is concerened but knowing his mum, I'm certain there is no wrong motive.

Even so, it's something that sort of.... makes you wonder doesn't it?

[petal54]

my son was well advanced in growing & by 9/10 didn't like having the bath run,let alone help in bath & would say so

[MarkRae]

I take it he hasn't discovered girls yet.

Though, if the mother's behaviour continues, there's a good chance he never will. That may, of course, be what she wants...

[karenmac60]

My daughter is 13 and would be absolutely horrified if I suggested giving her a bath. If she's just in her underwear she makes me wait outside her room till she outs her dressing gown on and she's been like that for about 3 years now. This is just plain creepy!