can i stop this?

[bubbles4920]

i used to see a married guy, his wife has our somewhat hot emails and is threatening to post them to my family and work colleagues. can i stop her from doing this by going to the police. we met a few weeks ago in the street and he said hello to me and his wife went mental saying to keep away from him and talking about injunctions. i have emailed in the past to just say hi which he has ignored. im scared people will see what we have said to each other.

[Prudie]

Bob you are misinterpreting what I'm trying to say and implying I'm being dismissive of you getting thumped which is also unfair. I'm sure it hurt but what I meant was guys can get thumped quite a bit, it hurts and they get over it, I don't suppose you lay awake and fretted about it for days after (the thumping I mean) whereas I think women in general would be more emotionally affected by it,

[ummmm]

He's still my mate though...lol. His brother ended up marrying my Aunty. Very strange situation....

[bobjugs12]

But thats the difference between women and men in general. Men are usually a lot more forward about problems and try to solve them as soon as possible. Women are a lot more long-term thinkers. At the end of the day, if you knowingly hurt someone, whether it be physically or emotionally, you should be adult enough to accept the consequnces. And in this case the consequences seem to be nothing more than embarresment and damaged pride

[Prudie]

That's exactly the point I was trying to make (about men and women).
Yes she's done wrong and will have to deal with the consequences but she's not alone in what she's done and I'm sure she's scared.

[Woody23]

If the wife wants to broadcast the content of the emails, that's up to her. Nowt you can do about that. In these enlightened times, nobody is gonna be shocked. However hard it is, grit your teeth, move on. The bloke is trying to. Good luck and think positive!

[bobjugs12]

Prudie, i'm not sure what you're getting at. Are you saying that the wife should just punch her and get it over with, or that as a women she should not expect the wife to seek any form of revenge?

[Prudie]

No! Why are you looking for the negative in what I'm saying??? I'm saying that whatever happens, whether she deserves it , it will affect her longer term and make her frightened . If it was a guy that was expecting a thump or other punishment I'm sure he wouldn't relish the thought but also wouldn't have a breakdown over it.
My sympathies lie with the wronged wife by the way.

[bobjugs12]

Prudie, I wasn't looking for negatives. I was genuinely confused. Sorry if you thought i was being an arrse lol
My symapthies also lie with the wife in all this. He's as much of a Finance Specialist as bubbles is.
Honestly though, what would you do in the situation? The urge to get revenge is almost overwhelming

[Prudie]

I have been in the exact situation (receiving end) and didn't have the guts to do anything but spent years tossing and turning wishing I had. For some reason I used to visualize tipping a dustbin of rubbish over her in her workplace. Bit pathetic I know. But I have also been with someone else's partner because I was crazy in love and lived in fear of what she might do BUT I accept that was my consequence to answer for. I still needed an understanding friend though who wouldn't judge me and that is what I was thinking when I started posting on this thread.

Now please don't get at me anymore or I won't be able to sleep..x

[bubbles4920]

im back and cant sleep. thank you for all your replies, fair comments on the whole and i know we both did wrong, things happen and then you try and move on, as i said, i thought i was. it will cause shame and embarassment . believe me though they are quite obscene ie dirty sexy emails that would shock people. oh dear im talking myself into a sleepless night here. i just think that the emails show our other side if you know what i mean, we all have them im sure but they are not normaly written down. still thinking about going to the police for advice, but what can they do?im dreading work colleagues seeing them and my parents, oh dear!

[trt]

Bubbles,
I'm a bit confused, did your ex married guy have all the e-mails of your family and friends, if so, how did his wife get hold of them?

[windycity8]

she knows where my family and i live hence neighbours too. she knows where i work. emails can be put in order of each person sending, replyig etc with dates i assume then printed off and posted manually! god my heart is in my mouth.

[trt]

/////// believe me though they are quite obscene ie dirty sexy emails that would shock people.///////

Can you send me some copy's so I can give you more advice about the situation?

[windycity8]

whats your email address?

[Jan1957]

Think this is a wind up. In your previous posts you say your husband has had an affair, been accused of sexual harrassment, and you have both been for counselling which didn't work. Perhaps you could just try and get your mind off sex for ten minutes or so. Try cold showers.

[Jan1957]

Totally agree steve, but don't believe it's true after reading this persons previous posts.

[tinkerbell23]

weve all made mistakes...i know i wouldnt be saying that if i were the wife...but im not...no-ones an angel and i hope it works out for you...the feeling of waitin on something bad to happen is awwwwful i hope u can move on!! isnt this harrassment or slander!?? xxxx good luck

[tinkerbell23]

awww ok so this is fake yous think...hmm well thats my opinion anyhow just incase LOL XX