depressed :(

[Tickk]

i have just been diagnosed as depressed and i have been put on anti depressents, i told my boyfriend hoping he would understand and support me as he knows everything i have been threw over the past few years but infact he has gone the oppisite way, he dont put x's at the end of texts no more, he dont kiss me, he dont want to come round and see me and he says he cant respect me no more.
is there something really wrong with me?

[bobjugs12]

Tickk, there's nothing wrong with you, and without more information i'd guess your bf is quite shocked by whats happened as well.
How long have you been together and has he always tried to help you through the *** times?

[rowanwitch]

Not with you but maybe someone in his family suffered from depression and it affected him badly so he can't cope now, or he doesn't know what to do, or he might be an uncaring wotsit.... The trouble is depression is often accompanied by low self esteem so you will be tempted to look to blame yourself. Give him some time, find some support elsewhere, he'll either get his head round it or he won't if he won't he probably wasn't a good long term prospect anyway...

Hope you feel better soon

[cazzz1975]

some people cannot deal with depression in others, he may be struggling to come to terms with it and maybe he does not know what to do?

[bobtheturkey]

Wait till you get "the pull yourself together" comment

[zita-green]

Yes. You are ill. There is a lot of ignorance about depression. It is not the same as being unhappy: it is a life-sapping grey wave that sweeps over you. You can access sites that offer info and help and ask your boyfriend to read them with you. You will be able to manage his 'rejection' of you more easily once you begin to understand more about the illness. Good luck: you will recover but it takes time.

[Nosha123]

perhaps he just doesnt know what to do or say? Maybe he has never dealt with this illness before.. you need to talk to him direct

[joeluke]

Sounds like if you don't get over this you are going to lose him

[ChuckFickens]

Joe, Clinical depression is not something you just "get over" it's a physical condition caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain.

[zita-green]

Joeluke, that's not a very helpful answer to a depressed person.

[joeluke]

Sorry, was just going by the fact that her bf has become distant and unsupportive

[Tickk]

i am just accepting it and gettin on with my life as usual, and i want to be treated the same but he is makin things so hard for me

[Nosha123]

why dont you take him to your next GP appt and ask the Doctor to explain your illness to him...

Peopl often find it hard to understand (me included) when there is nothing visibly physically wrong with a depression sufferer.

The good thing is its diagnosed and being medicated....

Have you changed since being on the pills??? Maybe you are acting differently and he isnt sure how to respond...

[Tickk]

i was always a really firey person when people upset me but i always tried my hardest to treat him with the most up right respect and be nice to him but i havnt changed im still me .

[Nosha123]

maybe the pills are making you behave in a different way though.. and maybe he has noticed this!... Have you asked him whether he thinks you have changed in any way?

You really are only going to get answers about this from him - not a site like this...

Just be patient with him... in the way you would expect him to be with you...

[wolf63]

I have suffered from mental health problems since my teens. Depression is a horrible illness to deal with but it is also hard for those around you to understand and they do not know what to do.

The tablets won't magically make you feel happy but they will slowly make you feel better so that you can get to a stage where you can enjoy your life again.

There is nothing wrong with you - apart from the fact that you are ill and your boyfriend will just have to learn to deal with this. Talk to him and see what he says.

I wish you good luck and best wishes for the future.

[Tickk]

i have tried talkin to him i didnt sleep for 48 hours explainin all this to him and i have asked him what i've done wrong and why he wont see me and he just says the same things : its for the best, u will get upset if i come round, its not a good idea

thankyou to all of u for the help tho

[Nosha123]

OK.. so it sounds like he's not dealing very well with this... put that issue to one side and start getting well again... Not sleeping for 48hrs after talking to him is not normal behaviour whatever way you look at it.
You are going to have to concentrate on you for now - and if he is still there at the end of this then great - if not .. then maybe he wasnt the right guy for you.
Can you join a gym.. or start cycling for some exercise? It releases the chemicals in your brain that make you feel good! Today's weather is perfect for outdoor activity!
Write a list of all the things that make you feel good..... Start thinking more positively
Focus on your future! You are now on the road to recovery!!!

[ayabrea38]

Sounds like he could be making you more depressed.Maybe he is finding it hard to handle,for one reason or another,maybe this is his excuse for ending it.Unfortunately,there are still a lot of ignorant/scared people out there.
Medication can take a few weeks to kick in.
Just remember,you have taken the first biggest step by getting help.There is a great personal strength you can pull from that.
Maybe try to talk to him one more time,but if he wont give you the courtesy of this,do you still want to be with him?
Good Luck
Aya

[Tickk]

i do live so far outta town and it takes about an hour and i walk into 2 times a day and i do play footie now and then with some mates and go for a jog occasionally.

i defintly do want to be with him i love him more than anything but im not sure he feels the same and i try talk to him but he just dont want to listen

[leggyeile]

Absolutely nothing wrong with you dear. Your partner probably cant deal with the fact that you are going to have treatment and may think that you wont need his support anymore. Taking tablets for depression is like a diabetic taking insuling for their diabetes. See if your tablets help and talk to your partner. Its your life and you should do what you feel is right for you. Good luck!