Kids hitting themselves, Is this normal?

[Crazylegs]

I have a very worried friend with a two year old son that has recently started slapping himself in the head and headbutting objects whenever he's angry? Frustrated? She and I has had a read of similar circumstances on the net and many say that their kids have never seen violence but have done the same thing. Some of these adults say that they think that it may be a way of the kids learning to express themselves? Has anyone had experience with this phenomenon? Is it normal as my friendis really worried that her son may just have the beginnings of a violent streak.
Please help!

[redcrx]

both of my have gone through a stage of headbutting things when they are annoyed.
Its a stage many children go through.

the best way i found was to ignore (unless they are in danger of really hurting themselves, in which case move them away and then ignore)

[Crazylegs]

What age are they red? Could I also add to this thread that she smacks her kid for this behaviour. Do you?

[redcrx]

no, i wouldnt smack them for that behaviour. They are frustrated at something so smacking will hardly help.

my daughter is 27 months and my son was about 18-24 months when he did it.

if she watches she will probably see a pattern to it, being told "no" or being upset at not being able to express feelings is often the point where they headbutt.

[Crazylegs]

Than your redcrx you have been a great help and I will tell my friend not to worry too much.

[chelle7272]

Mine went through it several times, when he was younger probably because he was angry or frustrated and later because he knew I didn't like it when he did it!
I never hit him for doing it though - not just because I rarely have hit mine for any reason, but also how does your friend think that hitting him will help stop him being violent?

[cazzz1975]

it is natural that he will get frustrated at this age, his brain is developing at a slightly different rate to his body, as a result he is frustrated at his lack of ability to express himself verbally or complete a task. He will grow out of this when his mind and body catch up with each other

she shouldnt smack him, she should ignore it unless he is causing himself damage.
her smacking him merely demonstrates her frustration at the situation. you cannot hit developmental growth into a child...

[Crazylegs]

But she is worried that if left this could escalate into physical damage if left and ignored or may be a prelude to self harming at a later date. Please forgive if wrong as she has had a daughter with no problems and this is her first time seeing this.

[Crazylegs]

Sorry cazzz did not see your post before typing my post.Chelle Thanks for your input, I as a parent do also give a smack on the hand to my naughty kids as I had done to me and this never has been a problem as I have understood when older why I was smacked.

[redcrx]

it has nothing to do with self harming at an older age.

It really is frustration and also a way to gain attention of parent, even getting a smack is attntion.

she should ignore and then maybe praise the child when they stop hurting them,selves.

[Crazylegs]

Thanks eddie, and redcrx that sounds like far advice. Which will lead to my next question.

[ethandron]

totally agree with redx. our youngest used to bang his head on the floor and always had a line of bruises across his forehead. the health visitor said exactly what's been said - it's frustration and for attention. never smack, just ignore it. he turned out to be extremely bright with a high IQ. his elder brother never did anything remotely like it.