Advice Please

[blondedee]

I have a very close friend david. I'm female. We've known each other a couple of years and he told me pretty early on that he didn't want a relationship. He had been too badly burned by his marriage which had a particularly bad break up. Our relationship isn't physical just kissing sometimes. We speak every day and see each other a lot. He's introduced me to his friends and to his daughter. I think most people see us as being together and to be honest i thought we were getting there. We speak evry day usually instigated by him. We had a huge fight the other day. It was instigated by me - I was unwell and crabby- it was bad fight though . He was really upset and the next day left a messgae on my machine saying he couldn't give me what I wanted. I was devastated. I'v e seen him since - again instigated by him - we had dinner last night and it's all great again. I don't know what to do. I can't wlak away. I don't know whether I panicked him or what. Can someone give me some advice please. I know that someoen will say walk away but he is my best friend and I'm his.

[boxtops]

It IS possible to be best friends, don't let anyone tell you you can't - my best friend for years was a single man, he and I both had our own relationships but I knew that he was always there for me and I for him, we had a lot in common and we got on very well, although having very different backgrounds. However - you have to lay very clear ground rules, no kissing (apart from greeting on the cheek), no sexual undertones, no assumptions being made by your friends that you are a couple. You have to set and agree those boundaries. As we did, we could meet and go out, with no misunderstanding - sometimes I stayed at his, sometimes he stayed at mine for the weekend, no problems. It was so good - we see each other less now, we live very far apart and both have settled marriages - but we are still very good friends and our families know and like each other, there are no misunderstandings. He would still be there for me if I were in deep trouble. I know I have been very lucky!

[237SJ]

I agree with Boxtops. I have always had straight male friends since I was little. I had a good friend who used to come out on the raz with me and stay at my place and all my neighbours must have thought he was my boyfriend, but we were just friends. He met someone internet dating and is married now, but we`re still friends.
When you`re friend says he can`t give you what you want, maybe he just likes your friendship and I don`t want to offend anyone, but is there a chance he could be gay? I work in a field where most of my male colleagues are gay and I know quite a few who have been married/got kids

[blondedee]

Thanx to both of you. You know when I first met him I thought he was gay and other people have done in the past. I suppose the best thing to do is just to try and forget it because he's too good a friend to give up.

[Jemisa]

You've answered your own Question blonedee, - Good luck.

jem