curing an obsession

[mollykins]

Hiw do you cure someone with an obsession?

[pastafreak]

molly....you have yet to recognise irony.....

anyway-let your dad have his dreams,it's something many of us have...and may keep him going-until he finds something a bit more substantial to think about. I'm sorry...but you are coming across as rather unfeeling in describing your dad as being abnormal...'there is nothing normal about my dad'.......I find that rather sad TBH.

[mollykins]

he's already had his mid life crisis, he bought a jaguar.

That's why i'm not. But I think to get the money for the kitchen the bank need both their signatures cos of the account and he won't because 'we don't need a kitchen' even though its 20 years old and falling apart, and the oven, microwave and lights don't work.

[mollykins]

Sad, but true.

[cazzz1975]

let your mom deal with it molly

[Mamyalynne]

Could he not become more involved at Sea Cadets?? Get a new kitchen and build him a raft out of the old one, please love your Dad while you have him.

[Eve]

So he has a dream, good for him.

Life isn't all champagne and roses. I'm guessing he has devoted a large part of his life being an earner and supporting his family.

Ok so he can't afford it but doesn't stop him dreaming.

Hardly sounds like an obsession to me. Does it interfere with his health or day to day life? Does it stop him going to work or going out? Is he spending more than he earns on it like an alcoholic, gambler, junkie...I doubt it.

[mollykins]

he doesn't love me, why should I love him?

[supersuezy24]

tell him to sell the jag and use the money to get a boat

[mollykins]

Yes he can't sleep and when ever he does he dreams about boats. We don't go for normal family days out, every weekend we have to go to at least one boatyard.

[woofgang]

Molly you can't cure your Dad. he has to want to change himself before he can be "cured" if his dreams make him happy then i am afraid there is nothing you can do.

[mollykins]

But it's a dream that's become an obsession thats stopping us from getting a kitchen and intefers with normal family life.

[Mamyalynne]

Well I feel for both of you if you have no love, how very very sad.

[mollykins]

So you lot agree that we should bankrupt ourselves to buy a boat which we won't be able to afford to maintain instead of buying things for our ktichen that actually work.

[cazzz1975]

yep, go for it..

[woofgang]

Are you SURE you'd get a kitchen if he didn't want a boat?

[ChuckFickens]

I'd suggest if it worries you that much the answer is simple, move out and get your own place, then you don't have to worry about anything anyone else does.

[mollykins]

They've got the money in a joint account, mums designed it and has a lsit of everything we need, but because dad won't sign something for the bank, mum can't get the money out to buy the kitchen.

[Eve]

Oh for goodness sake, poor me's won't get you too far in this life Molly.

You really do come across as a bit of an ungrateful little brat sometimes.

He spends a lot of time online looking at boats, you spend a lot of time online posting random questions.

So your dad likes his boats, it's not exactly child abuse. From your posts on here you sound far from neglected or hard done by. Maybe you should be grateful for what you have instead of moaning about what you think you don't.

There really are more important things in life.

[Mamyalynne]

No I think you would be better to pursue things that 16 year olds enjoy and cease to fret about things you cannot change. Soon you will move out and the issue of the kitchen won't matter.
You see a little too wrapped up in your parents issues, let them have their hopes and dreams just as you do.

[saxy_jag]

Molly, mid-life crises aren't always limited to just one. A colleague's husband has gone through gardening, fishing, cars and golf in recent years, blowing a small fortune every time. Now he's into cruise holidays, which Sue doesn't like but at least she gets a holiday out of it.

As for mine - the car, bikes, drums, photography ... ;-)

Good girl for hanging onto your money. If I were you I'd just let your olds sort it out between themselves.