Do you actually 'get over' a lost love, or do you merely just 'move on' ???

[Roughquest]

I have often wondered (depending on the circumstances of the split) how you forget loving someone who was a part of your life ? Some people seem to get over it so fast but for some - like me - its such a battle, keeping busy, getting out and about...why do I still hanker after a lost love ???? It's driving me nuts !

[lardhelmet]

I think you move on rough, but time is a healer.

[Roughquest]

I have had time, lots of it, how about 10 years ????

[Roughquest]

I just 'can't beat this thing' .....after all this time, I have had other relationships and been in love again after this, but I often still have vivid dreams of having this guy's baby, getting married again to him....not fair...torture.....

[pastafreak]

oohhhhh...been there..done that.
For me-I would say it is not easy,so maybe 'never' is the answer.
Funny..I do not miss or yearn for my ex-husband. But the man who gave me the courage to leave a dead marriage...he lives on in my thoughts. Not as intensely as he did for a good 2 years, but I do think of him,and wish him well in my thoughts. He was-I thought-my soulmate...and he made me feel truly loved for the first and only time in my life.It just was not meant to last.

[Prudie]

Have to say that although I'm very happy with current partner for over 10 years the one before him is unfortunately in my head most days of the week and often in dreams even though I genuinely have no desire to even ever see him again. Will never know why he had such an impact on my life, he wasn't even a nice person.

[Roughquest]

Interesting Prudie ! Why indeed if you say he was not a nice person, very odd...why ?? It makes no sense, but my ex WAS a fantastic guy, in everyway, I could not wish anything but happiness for him, we still sort of keep in touch....I guess I was truly happy without really knowing it at the time with him...but he is moving away to another country in a few months, so I will never see or hear from him again.

[RainbowPrism]

Hmmm, difficult, perhaps he had a bigger influence in your life than you realised at the time ? Very sad to lose someone you love so deeply...awful feeling wanting someone you cannot have...

[society]

True love never dies. When the sparks are gone It sits amongst the ashes. But, it's still there laying in the shadows. When you've sincerely loved someone you never stop caring about them...

[20SilkCut]

I agree with society ^^^

[chattykathy]

Me too! (agree with Society!)
It doesn't mean to say you can't keep in touch even if he moves away!! It's easier than ever with the internet etc. Don't give up! :-) I do think there is 'One love' I just blew it with mine ..... ! x

[slinky.kate]

i broke up with my husband in march 83,i was devastated,i didnt think i would ever get over it,but'i remarried a nice guy,i always stayed friends with my first hubby,last year i met him in a car sale room and he bent down and kissed me on the lips when we were driving away,all my old feelings returned with a bang,i think he still has feelings for me to,but he has remarried as well.

[Mamyalynne]

True, true love never ever dies, am two years on from my husbands death and I pine for his arms around me every night, we were together 35 years and my world is so different without him. I do not know your circumstances but wish you well in getting over your lost love and do hope you can move on.

Take good care

M ♥

[China Doll]

Personally, I get over it. I can hardly remember times with old loves, obviously it all happened but it was a long time ago and we split because it couldn't work for whatever reason. Personally, I think when you hanker after a love in the way you and others have described, it's because of other issues within yourself. Something about that time made you like who you were and you're associating it with who you were with and the situation... That's just my personal take on things as I absolutely can't relate to clinging on to something that wouldn't or couldn't work. (Mind you, I also do not keep in touch with exes too much if at all, I believe it to be detrimental to yourself and frankly, an ex is not a friend, they're an ex, again, my personal take on break up).

I exclude mamy completely as I think the death of a loved one you were with for a long time is an entirely different kettle of fish.

[neil42]

I feel the same,i was with someone for about a year back in 87,she broke up with me and i was devestated.I can honestly say hardly a day has gone bye where she hasnt entered my thoughts.Early this year she contacted me on Face book,and the feelings i have came roaring to the surface again.But she just dosnt have the same feelings.Unrequented love is awfull.;o(.The upshot is we have broken contact again.Some things are just not ment to be.