problem on behalf of boyfriend

[Morrisonker]

He's asked me to ask you guys ^_^

Basically he finds it really painful to enter me during sex because his foreskin pulls back.  We know this is a common problem, but wondered if it will get any less painful overtime.  As it is, we have to use condoms 99% of the time, and after 2 years together this is not only unnesessary but can also kind of kill the moment.  We've tried using KY which works fine, but also can be a little inconvienient, especially if we're feeling spontanious ;)

Any help is welcomed!

[El D]

I believe the big C is available on the NHS for such problems. As far as I know there is not a lot that can be done apart from gentle stretching exercises which I presume you have tried.

[andy hughes]

In case of any confusion, my learned friend is referring to 'circumcision' which is routine surgery, and makes life a lot easier once he has recovered. Some people tell you guff about the glans being less sensitive because it is exposed all the time - nonsense, and I know! (oo-er!)

[kick3m0n]

had an ex who had this problem.  He eventually got circumcised on the NHS, as it got no better at all over time and his doc advised that this was the only real solution. He reckons he should have got it done much earlier as it made such a  huge difference. Good luck. xx

[tracymort]

I'm just wondering if ky helps then maybe it's more of a lubrication problem? Are you taking the pill or anything like that?

[Morrisonker]

I am on the pill, but I haven't dried up, so to speak.  I think the problem is on his side.  Neither of us have been with anyone else, so we can't compare, but that's how it appears.

I'm not going to suggest a circumcision to him, i think that's something he's going to have to think about himself.  From what I've heard from various sources, It's quite a big decision for a guy.  But incase the topic comes up, any idea on the recovery time after the snip?  i presume it's only a local anesthetic.

[stoo_pid]

At the very least I would suggest a quick trip to his doctor.  I had exactly the same issue as a teenager & just assumed it would sort itself out.  In my case it didn't as I needed to be circumcised.  If this turns out to be the same for your BF I would just reassure him that there's absolutely nothing to worry about - I was a little bit uncomfortable for a couple of days but now I'm more than happy with the sports model!  My only regret was that I hadn't spoken to a doctor earlier...

Your bloke might also want to have a look at this previous posting:
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Question90340.html

p.s. Just to back Andy up, it is a complete myth that there is a loss of sensitivity...

[kick3m0n]

just to confirm, my ex had absolutely NO problems after his op, and within a couple of days, any mild discomfort was gone.  He certainly didn't think the op was a big deal, and as I said, he wished he hadn't waited so long to get it done, as the difference to his sex life was immense!!!!  Why not point your bf to this post (since he asked you to ask us) and he can read about it for himself, and see what he says re the replies????  xx

[The Tiggster]

My husband had the op last year for exactly the same reasons. He has not 1 regret about it what-so-ever only that he wishes he had done it earlier.

It has improved our sex life dramatically as before the op he was very wary about the pain it would cause him.

No hiding it from you but he was a in a fair bit of discomfort after the op (general anaesthetic), off work for 10 days and about 5 - 6 weeks before we were "back to normal". He has had no loss of sensation, in fact he says the total opposite.

It was a big thing for him but was something he had to do to enjoy a normal sex life.

Hope it all works out for you both. x

[v64paul]

i'm the guy who posted the question in the link above. it's still early days for me but i would not go back to the days before the op for anything. i suspect that he is having a range of problems you may not have even considered. if it's proved to be needed medically have no fears. it's embarrassing sure but talk to your doc and get it sorted matey! good luck. 

[Morrisonker]

v64paul - What sort of problems might those be?  I obviously can't compare to anything that might affect me! 

I approached the subject last night and he said he'll give it some thought, i think the main thing he's worried about is seeing the doctor, bless him.  Thanks for all your help guys, it's been so useful.  It seems that the snip is pretty popular, makes me wonder why many parents don't choose it for their sons when they're babies.

[v64paul]

it's an illustration of how important it is that you seek advice. without being too graphic, towards the end of my waiting for the op, i fund it difficult to even aim straight if you follow my meaning. very much something us blokes take for granted. its only now that i realise how much discomfort i was putting up with.