Ex-boyfriend mixed signals

[PonderRosa]

I broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago and we stayed friends. When we're together we are quite close but I am confused as he compliments me, says I'm hot and I'm great. Of course this is all very nice for me but confusing and frustrating. I don't compliment him in that way because I think it would be a bit odd considering what's going on - is he just leading me on? And why - he's not getting anything out of it?

[ummmm]

Maybe he's hoping you'll be his fcuk buddy because he doesn't want the commitment of a relationship...

[NoMercy]

Just to clarify - did you break up with him, or he with you?

[PonderRosa]

Hi NoMercy, I broke up with him, but because he was just hot and cold all the time and I just got bored hanging by a string. I think he was very wary of getting close to someone after having alot of bad luck with his previous relationships.

[woofgang]

sounds like he's trying to get you on the string again to me.....

[NoMercy]

Then the best thing you can do is talk to him and ask if he's looking to reconcile.

Do you regret breaking up with him?

[PonderRosa]

Yes, I do sometimes regret it but am very worried that he, as woofgang says, just wants me on a string again. I don't feel comfortable asking if he wants to reconcile because I would be put in the position of pushing him into having to say something...I'd rather that he asked me. If the friendship continues like this I think I will just become more and more anxious about it - so thinking it best to end the whole thing for fear of getting hurt a second time? thanks for the advice.

[Hopkirk]

Whoa. Careful now.

He probably feels hurt that you dumped him.

Chances are once you are back together he will get his own back in some way, to salvage his pride.

[PonderRosa]

Hopkirk: he maybe just wants to get back together so he can dump me..to prove a point? Oh dear.

[NoMercy]

Perhaps you could talk to him and tell him that he is giving out mixed signals regarding where your friendship is going. Tell him the reasons why you broke it off and see what he says.

You never know, he could be missing you terribly, but he's scared to tell you how he feels for fear of rejection. I wouldn't go ejecting him from your life completely and unnecessarily without first talking things through with him. And least if you talk without actually putting him on the spot, you'll know how he feels and you can then act accordingly.

[NoMercy]

Sorry, Kirky, but I think that's just nonsense.

It sounds to me like he's insecure, but really does want to be with you, Rosa.

[Hopkirk]

Yeah, you are probably right.

[PonderRosa]

Thanks for your answers. it's been very helpful to get another perspective on things.
Rosa

[ann_h]

I would just think a little bit about the "a lot of bad luck with previous relationships" statement.