the big C

[nextqueen]

i know a shopkeeper who has got cancer again the third time,it has returned after 5 years. i spoke to him today as he had chemo again before xmas. he said it hadnt gone well and he now has to inject himself everyday. i dread to think. he is such a lovely man, i just dont see justice in the world.its put me on a real downer today and i sobbed when i got home. if ther e is a god then why does this happen. my friend believed in karma but thats some good. when it gets to injecting yourself and the third time around can there really be any hope left. i am hoping and praying for this man, i often wonder just how cancer patients cope with the unknown or even the knowing, why dont the majority it seems just lie down and die? your thoughts please.

[boxtops]

Because where there is life, there is hope. Nobody wants to give in, if there is a chance of more life with some quality to it.

[sherrardk]

My mother (61) was diagnosed with bowel cancer in February last year (she had thought something was wrong for some time but hadn't been ill as such). As soon as she knew she went rapidly down hill and died on March 9. I feel that she gave into it when she knew what it was she had. On an upside, she wasn't really, really ill for long, maybe two weeks, so it didn't drag on an on and she never got to have any unnecessary (in her case) treatments and was only in hospital for one night.

[Purple_Popple]

There really doesn't seem any fairness in life does there? Throughout my life, it seems that the 'good' ones are 'taken', so many times some of the nicest people I've known have had cancer and tragically lost their battle, whereas the really cruel, evil people appear to go through their life with nothing bad happening....I dont understand it...I'm an athiest, I have no reason whatsoever to believe there is 'a god' due to the simple fact so many awful things happen to so many 'good' people....I dont want to get into any debate about religion either. So here endeth my input on this. From one who lost their dad when he was just 55 years old (cancer).

[Andyvon]

My mother died of breast cancer in 1999 and I spent the last few months helping my step-father care for her. My mother was a real lady who never smoked, drank, used a foul word, never said anything bad about anyone and she would do anything to help anyone. She certainly did me! My mother was a committed Christian who went to church whenever she could and she rang the bells every Monday. She was also county bowls champion several years before that.

My mother's cancer spread from her lymph nodes to her skeleton, then to her liver, lungs and brain. She went completely deaf in the last few weeks as the cancer affected her skull and the bones of her ears. In the last few weeks she was so weak she could only lie in a recliner chair and play Scrabble with me.

However, my mother bore the whole thing stoically. She never complained of her condition or of any pain. She often got up in the night for a drink of milk holding her side saying she had indigestion - but I now think it was the pain in her liver. I never saw my mother take pain-killers, although my step-father told me later that she did. She was still smiling with us on her last day. God - cancer is a terrible thing.

These things do happen to the best of people Nextqueen. It always seems to be the way. Those meaner people in life often seem to escape illnesses and trauma while the best people suffer.

[Jemisa]

Your body tells you to fight. "Why don't the majority just lie down & die?" then that would mean it had won.
10 years ago I was diagnosed with bowel cancer, should I have just lied down and died then? I've been through a hell of a lot but I'm still here watching my G/children thrive and grow. - Life is sweet.

jem

[Purple_Popple]

Oh Jem, that is sooo positive ! ! Your comments are so humbling ! x x

[4getmenot]

my bloke had cancer. He's been clear 7 years now. And he looks at it as sh 1t happens. I think people dont just get cancer that all this if you eat too many of certain foods you are more at risk etc, i think that some people are born with it and it progresses

[sherrardk]

Hi Jem - lovely to hear a positive outcome. Could i just add that my friend's son came of his chemo last week after three hellish years so fingers crossed for him for the next six months which are the big test (he's only 6).

[Andyvon]

My mother was operated on in 1996 then given the all clear every six months for the next three years. In that time however, the cancer had been spread by her lymph nodes to my mother's skeleton and her organs. By the time she had an X-ray for a cricked neck they discovered the cancer was everywhere (despite her again having been given the all clear as it hadn't returned to her breasts!) Mum died 24 weeks after being diagnosed but she couldn't have fought that as it had become too advanced.

My mother did have cervical cancer in 1977 (caused by my Dad's antics apparently) and she recovered fully from that. She was back at work in 4 weeks despite the pain (to keep my brother and me).

[ummmm]

My Dad died of cancer nearly 3 years ago. He wasn't offered any treatment and I think if it wasn't for his kids and grand-kids he would have died much quicker. He was very very scared. When he went into the hospice his family all came to see him...from different parts of the country and from Ireland. He hung on until he'd said goodbye to them all.

[nextqueen]

so what are the symptoms of someone who has cancer. are they in alot of pain, do they feel sleepy alot?. do you think this man who injects himself could get better or have you heard of this before and is it like the last hope? thank you all for your frank comments so far and your positivity.

[Andyvon]

I think the general symptom is incredible weakness Nextqueen. If the man you know is injecting himself then I think he's probably injecting a pain-killer and is in the last stages. Maybe it's too late for an operation or he has opted not to go through that.

When I asked my mother in 1999 whether she was in pain just hours after she had been diagnosed she said she wouldn't have any idea if they hadn't told her! She certainly looked fit and healthy, although she died a few months later. She was in pain in the end though, although she didn't complain and still smiled.
When I asked my mother in 1977 whether she had been in pain she said she thought the feeling was normal as the cancer had crept up over about 8 years. She said she only realised she had been in pain after the operation when it stopped.

[nextqueen]

i thought the man was injecting some kind of chemo himself if that is possible i dont know, that is how he phrased it im sure.

[ummmm]

My Dad didn't feel sleepy. Still went to the pub everyday...we're talking big drinking here....he'd have a wander into town and have a few halfs. He was in pain though...that's why he went to the doctors in the first place. In the last month he was drinking morphine hourly.

[Jemisa]

nextqueen, - Symptoms of cancer are different for different types of cancer. Its impossible to generalise. You could go to the dr's with a pain in your finger and later find its bone cancer (hypothetically) thats how diverse it is.
Thats how sometimes one has been suffering from it for years & don't know,all of a sudden they don't feel well and its too late to treat.
It is different with everyone hardly any two cases are the same.
Can I say to everyone look after yourself and - If in doubt get it checked out.

jem

[ummmm]

I should add that my Dad died of liver cancer and that is considered to be the least painful.

[CJ242]

Some do just curl up and die!
My uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year. He refused to see me or my sister when we went to his house. Worse than that, he refused to see his mother or his sister (my mother). He also forbid anyone from telling his own children (living in Australia) that he was ill.
He then banned everyone except his wife and her children from his funeral which crushed my mother.

[bellabee]

i think it's highly unlikely he is injecting himself with chemo - that stuff has to be administered by specially trained nurses.it could be hormone therapy, which may be his next 'line' in treatment given that the previous one seems to have been unsuccessful. i think if you know this guy quite well, it would be fine to ask some gentle questions - if he doesn;t want to answer, you'll get the message, on the other hand he may find it helpful to talk about it. i think this would be preferable to speculating.cancer affects people in many different ways and many people live with cancer as a chronic condiiton rather than a terminal disease. don;t write this guy off yet!

[Andyvon]

I think that's the general answer. There are many different cancers and they affect everyone differently,

[rowanwitch]

I suspect he is injecting himself with a drug like Clexane which reduces the risk of dangerous blood clots which are more likely if you are being treated for cancer...patients are taught to do it themselves so they don't waste precious time waiting in for the district nurse to come and give it....