Too young for a child?

[ChocolatChip]

I would like some of your opinions and personal experiences;
I am 20, married to a wonderful man (27) with a good job with career progression, a flat rented from our family, financial stability. Both of us are mature, and well travelled.
We feel that we are ready to have children, but I wanted to ask a few peoples opinions who were unbiased of knowing us personally.
Are we too young?

[sophie_1003]

I wouldn't have wanted children at 20 (still don't have children now btw) but isn't it entirely up to you? At least by having children now you will still be very young when they've grown up!

[ChocolatChip]

I know! I'm not entirely sure why I'm asking really. I'm just a bit nervous of it all I suppose, and would like someone to talk to as I can't stop thinking about it!

[society]

In my opinion 20 is a bit young but if your feel that you are capable and secure about this then by all means do. As Sophie said, you;ll still be young when they grow up.
Good luck.

[boxtops]

It's a big step - and you have to consider whether you'd like to get further on in your job, without baby breaks - or go for the family now and resume your career later. Hard work to do both at the same time.

[whiskeryron]

go for it, if you delay you could face the possibility that one or both can't have children then maybe it would be too late,as sophie says you'll both still be young as your child(children) are growing up.Ron♥

[boxtops]

Btw my niece married from school and had two babies before she was 21. It's great now, the children are going into secondary school and she still is a young woman.

[ChocolatChip]

My career hasn't really started yet, thats why I think it might be better now, as progression will hopefully be easier as the child is older. I have never seen myself as an old mum, nor would my husband like to be an old dad.

[ChocolatChip]

One of my concerns is my mother keeps moving the goalposts. She says how much she'd love a grandchild, and excited by the prospect.
But then she'll turn round and say 'but thats just me, you're too young'
I want her to be able to trust me.

[sophie_1003]

It depends what you call old; a friend of mine was born when her mum was 17, her nan is about isn't much older than my mum but wouldn't call my mum old but my friend has mentioned how she finds it strange that people her age have grandparents in their 70s because that seems really old to her, it's all relative!

[zzxxee]

depends on the individual
i had my first baby at 19, far far to young i dont regret having her but i missed out on a lot shes 19 now we kind of grew up together.

[tiggerblue10]

It is entirely up to you if you want a family now. As you say, you're situation is stable enough to bring children into it, therefore, its not up to your mother. As an adult, just go with how you feel.

[sherrardk]

Hi, I wasn't ready at 20 as I had a career planned. However, I don't think 20 is too young especially as you are considering it from all angles. Good luck. (PS - it's up to you and your husband, not your mother.)

[China Doll]

Haven't you posted in the past about health problems on yours and your boyfriends side? (You with depression and him with epilepsy or fits or something?) Are those both all resolved now? (As in medications being taken, working etc, normal life regained as much as is fesible etc...)

[ChocolatChip]

Yes chinadoll, you are correct. I have been through counselling etc, and my life is very much back on track. I have my odd days, but I am very much 'normal' :)
My husband indeed has epilepsy, of which is now well controlled.

[zzxxee]

i think if you feel you need to ask other peoples opinions you may not be ready just yet.
When you are confident to have a family without having to consult others opinions then you will be ready to start your family :0) x

[CovKid]

I would have said 20 was too young to marry...but my gut feel is in your case it was OK.

I'd say it would be a good idea to wait 2 or 3 years. I don't wish to seem miserable... I guess you have not been married long, you might change your mind. You may say, no, we will not. A lot of other people have said that. Broken marriages can be dreadful for the kids (and not much fun for the parents).

I hope my worries prove totally unfounded and you enjoy a long and happy married life. But I'd still say wait a while. You are both young and even if you wait you will have grown up kids when you are 45. 45 will be the new 30 by then (and 30 isn't old..it isn't it isn't)

[China Doll]

Sounds like it's very much up to you and your husband then. All anyone else can do is give an opinion but if you've the basics sorted (which doesn't happen in a lot of cases) and you feel you're ready, then I don't see what business it is of anyone elses.

[ChocolatChip]

Im just trying to make sure I have covered all bases and have thought about it clearly, rather than rushing into it all.
CovKid, I definitely agree with you, my husband and I have been married just under a year now and been together about 3 years. So no, not long at all. But I do very much believe that it is important to work at your marriage, and not just walk away if it gets a little difficult, which seems quite a normal think nowadays. I think it does make a difference due to the fact that he is a little older than myself.

[JonnyBoy12]

Would not like to say, but know that you really have to want them, and in the case of yours truly I do not want them. Would say that your age is about the youngest, but can you both afford it? They cost a lot, to say the least, and adds up to thousands over the course of their whole lives.

[cazzz1975]

well on the plus side if you have them now you will still be young enough to have a career when they are older.