Internet lie

[flipnflap]

A month or so ago, a male mate of mine finally gave in to urging from other friends to try Internet dating. They also advised him to alter certain facts about himself in order to throw stalker-types off his scent (apparently there are quite a lot on those sites). Thing is that included knocking 5 years off his age, which they told him was common practice and, to be fair, he does look at least 5 years younger than he actually is (50). Anyway, it wasn't long before he encountered someone who he already considers rather special, and it looks to be going rather well between them. But she is 36 and thinks he is 45. Now he's torn between fessing up before she finds out, or hoping he gets away with it for as long as he can. He fears she'll give him the elbow for lying, though it's possible she may have knocked a few years off her own age. I'm not sure what I would do if I found out - cos he's my mate I can't imagine. I'd be interested to hear what other female subscribers would do, and what you feel he should do?

[Count-A-Strong]

How long have they been seeing each other?

[bednobs]

why would someone stalk someone who was 50 rather than someone who was 45?

[ummmm]

My uncle lied to my Aunt about how old he was...she didn't find until, 2 kids later, they decided to get married..haha

[ljdksa]

Just tell her as soon as possible and explain why. He really should have done straight away. Not sure how knocking 5 years off your age gets rid of stalkers?

I would be more upset by the deception than his actual age.

[boxtops]

I'd come clean if I were him, and if she ditches him, then not fib about it in future. I don't see what difference it makes. When I was single (a few years back, not in my youth) I went out with guys who didn't know how old I was (and I never said), and when they discovered I was a bit older than I looked, they said it didn't matter at all, they already knew me. I hope it's the same for your mate. Let us know how he gets on!

[c1]

The fact that he has lied in the first place about something as minor as his age would put me right off! I would be wondering what else he lied about?! However, I'd prefer if he told me sooner rather than later.

[sara3]

I've used dating sites and it bugs me how people think it's okay to lie about their age, height, situation..

I hope he's learned a lesson. I wouldn't believe that tale about throwing off stalkers. he lied about his age to hook a younger woman, and let's hope she won't mind that he's a liar.. and doubt other things he's told her.

[flipnflap]

sorry, I should have explained better. The anti-stalker thing was mainly lying about where he lived, what he did for a living, etc. His mates told him it was normal to lie about his age, though Ithink that was supposed to also confuse people as to his true identity. He's not famous or anything like that; he just didn't want people he knew seeing him on a dating site and taking the mick

[4getmenot]

If I had met someone and then found out he'd lied I'd start wondering what else he was lying about

[Count-A-Strong]

I bet she's 40!

[sara3]

I hope she's 45 and still married!

[boxtops]

This is what you get for listening to your mates....

[arwyn]

Once a liar always a liar.

[c1]

flipandflap is probably talking about himself!

[tiggerblue10]

If you're going on a dating website where it is possible you may meet the 'one' then you shouldn't lie at all in the first place. I'm sure there are loads of people who join up lying about this and that and are only there for "serial dating" purposes though.

[PipinHull]

So the anti-stalker thing was lying about where he lived, what he did for a living etc, and the age thing is something everyone does? I have done a fair bit of internet dating over the past six years, if I met someone, liked them, but found out (either on the first date or at a later date) that they did not live where they said or work in the job they had said, or were five years older than their profile, I'd chuck it in. Sorry.

[JonnyBoy12]

Has he lied about certain other assets of his, I wonder?

[flipnflap]

Not unless i've had a sex change, C1

[c1]

Hahaha, my bad!

[flipnflap]

i never read his profile so I don't know if he told other porkies, though he says he hasn't and I do believe him. Besides, the woman seems very taken with him which I guess she wouldn't be had he claimed to be taller than he is, etc